Test of Love:Trial of the Slave Pill
by Whatthechuck3
Summary: Shampoo has devised a new plan to ensare her Airen, but unfortunately for her, it affects the wrong person and the outcome is far more dangerous than she ever thought possible. RanmaXAkane
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, as you all surely know, I do not own Ranma ½ or its characters, even though I'd like to.

Chapter 1

As Shampoo peddled swiftly down the streets of Nerima she had just one thing on her mind…Ranma Saotome. Glancing down at the bag she wore on her side, a smile spread across her face. This was going to be it. Finally, after all this time, she was going to have him all to herself.

_Or at least I better…_Shampoo thought. _Especially after all the trouble I went through._ Images began to race through her mind as her feet peddled faster. The plan was simple…first of all, she would invite him down to the Cat Café for a bowl of ramen. Of course, being a determined Amazon in love, it would be no regular ramen, as he would thereafter soon find out. As she rounded a corner, she again glanced down into the pack she was carrying…Oh yes, she knew the contents of that pack would be exactly what she needed to reel him in…the only thing she had left to worry about was whether he would take the bait…

* * *

"RANMA!!!! YOU JERK!!!" screamed a furious Akane Tendo, mallet at the ready. She swung with enough force to drive a railroad spike, but Ranma Saotome merely leapt out of the way, the mallet striking the ground where he had just stood.

"Geez Akane," the young martial artist retorted. "Lighten up will ya, it was just a joke!"

"Oh right a joke, sorry….if I didn't find it funny!!!" She swung again, but to no avail.

" All I said was 'a boulder could swim better than you' is that such a crime!? I mean after all even you can't deny the fact that you can't swim!" Unfortunately for the youngest Tendo girl, tomorrow's gym class would be utter hell. Their fitness exam included a swimming portion. It goes without saying that her confidence had not been boosted by her fiancee's comment.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to say it quite like that!" She readied her arm for another swing, but Ranma quickly grabbed her by the shoulder.

"Look Akane, seriously I didn't mean it…I'm…sorry…" Suddenly, Akane dropped her stance, mouth agape.

_Did…did he just apologize?_ She thought to herself._ On his own no less… "_I-It's okay Ranma…I shouldn't have snapped at you like that…" She looked up to see a slight grin on his face.

"Hey don't worry about it…I mean even you have to admit it's kinda funny! Who's ever heard of a Tomboy who can't swim?!"

"RANMA!!! YOU IDIOT!!!" She struck out with her mallet, ready to pummel him into the ground…but somebody beat her to it.

"Nihao, Airen!" Shampoo shouted gleefully as she slammed into her reluctant fiancée with her bike.

"Y-Yo, Shampoo…" Ranma managed to say as he stood up and dusted himself off. "What brings you here?" _As if I had to ask…_he thought to himself.

"Shampoo have special surprise waiting for Ranma back at Cat Café!" Ranma and Akane both rolled their eyes.

"Uh…Shampoo, this surprise…it wouldn't have anything to do with another love potion would it?" Ranma asked, already knowing the answer.

"NO!!! Shampoo never do such a horrible thing to Ranma, how you even think such thing?" she gasped, feigning as much hurt as she could muster.

"Right…don't know where I even got that idea from…" Ranma said sarcastically. "And anyway I can't today Shampoo…I gotta…um…"

"He's gotta come back home with me!" Akane shot back at the Amazon, staring her straight in the eyes.

"I-I do?" Ranma asked, puzzled. _Great, what have I forgotten this time…_

"We have to work on our school project…" she gave her fiancée a slight wink.

"We do?" Ranma asked at first, but then caught her meaning. "I-I mean we do! Oh darn, guess it's gonna have to wait till some other time Shampoo."

"Mmmmm." Shampoo gracefully walked towards Akane. "Great way to start 'project', violent girl….if project involve you two fighting…"

"F-Fighting…w-we haven't been fighting!" Akane said tensely. "Whatever could have given you that idea?" Shampoo pointed to the mallet still present in Akane's hand. " Oh…t-this old thing? Why, I was just practicing my swing was all…"

"Yeah, if you call trying to clobber me 'practicing your swing'!" Ranma said, placing his hands behind his neck.

"Ranma!" Akane hit herself in the forehead. _Way to spoil it, jerk!_ Ever since the failed wedding a few months ago she had been trying to lessen how often she got into fights with her…difficult… fiancée. She hoped that maybe if she and Ranma started to act a little more…civil with one another, maybe the other fiancées would back off a little. Of course it's not as if she really cared one way or the other, but… inside she was beginning to grow annoyed at the fact that the other suitors for Ranma's affections never considered her a true threat to their goals. She wanted them to think that she was still in the game…she wasn't, of course... how could she ever love a jerk like Ranma? But for some reason, she had to make them think otherwise.

"Well, in any case, all Shampoo was offering was a free dinner. She not think that cut into too much…'project' time." The Amazon smiled evilly. Suddenly Ranma's stomach growled. Unfortunately for him, Akane decided that today was the perfect day to practice her paltry cooking skills, and had been the one to pack Ranma's lunch. Needless to say, he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

"Well…come to think of it I am getting a little hungry…considering I haven't eaten lunch and all…" Suddenly Ranma felt a mass of energy swelling up behind him.

"You didn't eat my lunch?!" Akane shot at him. "Do you know how long it took to make that?!!!!" She slammed him on the head with her mallet. "You're such a JERK!!!!"

"OW!" Ranma fell to the ground as the mallet hit him full force. He felt anger beginning to rise within him."Geez, I wouldn't have a problem eating your cooking…if I didn't nearly choke to death every time I took a bite!"

"Well if my cooking's so bad why don't you just go have lunch with Shampoo!" She shrieked, barely restraining herself from hitting him again.

"Well fine!" Ranma yelled, pushing himself back off of the ground. "Maybe I will… C'mon Shampoo!" Shampoo smiled gleefully as she grabbed him by the arm.

"Aiyaa! Shampoo so happy! Ranma gonna have the biggest bowl of ramen he ever had!" As the two walked off, Akane felt her blood boil.

"Fine! Go get yourself poisoned for all I care! Idiot!" she turned and started walking home, toward the dojo. _That jerk…I can't believe him! And after all that time I spent cooking for him this morning…he doesn't even eat it! And to make matters worse he went and ran off with that..that…blue-haired bimbo! I hope she feeds him a stupid love potion…. _Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. _But if he falls for Shampoo…then I…Oh, what am I thinking!_ She reproached herself. _Without him I'd be far better off…_ That last sentence reverberated through her mind. _Without him_…how close she had almost been to that reality on several occasions, like back when she thought that Ranma had been eaten by the Orochi during her trip to Ryugenzawa…or a few months ago back in Jusendo when she died trying to save Ranma's life. She was close to spending an eternity without him…and would have, too, if it wasn't for what Ranma had said, or rather thought, as he held her lifeless body in his arms… Could she really spend her life without him…? As if answering her own question, she was startled by the sound of her own stomach growling (since she decided to cook her own lunch, too, she hadn't been able to eat anything either). _Well…_She thought to herself as she turned around and began heading for the Cat Café. _I guess one bowl of ramen couldn't hurt._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: As is always, I do not own _Ranma ½_ or its characters. Sorry to disappoint you.

Chapter 2

The minute Ranma entered the Cat Café, he felt that something was amiss. Maybe it was the wind (it had been on the blustery side that day), maybe it was the wicked look that Shampoo held on her face, or maybe it was simply because it was quiet…way…way too quiet. No customers out enjoying a late lunch, no 'old ghoul' busily taking orders, no Mousse quaking out death threats…just him and his blue-haired suitor.

"Hey Shampoo W-" he began to ask, but was cut short as Shampoo placed a finger to his lips…making him shudder slightly.

"You wait here, Airen. Shampoo be right back!" She pushed him towards an empty table. "You just make self at home okay." With a smirk, she headed off to the kitchen, leaving Ranma alone to ponder her schemes.

_If she thinks I'm gonna fall for another one of her pathetic attempts to get me to fall in love with her…she's got another thing…._ He thought to himself, but stopped in disbelief as none other than Akane Tendo burst through the door. For an instant their eyes met, Ranma preparing himself to dodge another mallet swing…but he saw something other than anger in her eyes…he didn't quite know what it was, but it certainly wasn't anger. "Akane? What are you doing here?" he asked as she took the seat opposite from him.

"Well if you must know, I was feeling kind of hungry myself, and I didn't feel like asking Kasumi to whip up something simply on my account." She answered. A sly grin spread across her fiancée's face.

"So, couldn't eat your own poison either, eh 'chef Tendo'?" he remarked cynically. Whatever emotion had been etched on Akane's face a moment ago was gone now, replaced by the all too familiar look that Ranma had become accustomed to.

"Idiot!" she snapped, crossing her arms and quickly averting his gaze. If Ranma hadn't have already put his foot in his mouth, he would've taped it shut.

_Great, she's already mad at me…and Shampoo hasn't even done anything yet_…he stared off towards the kitchen. _God help me when she does…_

* * *

Shampoo giggled happily as she began to prepare the ramen. After she set the water to boil, she went over to the counter-top and started emptying the contents of her pack. Pulling out the various kitchen utensils, cook books, and noodle orders she had stuffed it with, she thought back to how easy things had turned out. Earlier that day, she had been met with a great surprise as she watched the eldest Amazon corner a helpless looking Happosai with a vicious glint in her eye. She caught the old letch rummaging through her collection of ancient Amazonian artifacts, looking for some new way to attract the women of Nerima to the idea of adding to his own 'collection.' Fed up with the old demon's perverted ways, and with the fact that the female population of Japan were too incompetent to end them themselves, she readied her staff for a finishing blow. Unbeknownst to her, however, the lecherous freak was not one to give up so easily, and struck with a blow of his own.

"Happo Fire Burst!!!" The old ghoul had no time to react as an explosion shook the entire restaurant. With utmost speed, Happosai dashed out of the Cat Café, a pair of Shampoo's underwear waving in his hand. Grabbing Shampoo's cat carrier, Cologne dashed off in pursuit.

"I'm going to stop Happy once and for all! Shampoo, watch the Café." She exclaimed as she rushed out the door.

Shampoo couldn't believe her luck! The only thing left standing in her way after that incident was a certain young male Amazon who had begun to clean up the mess left from Happosai's 'Fire Burst.' Of course, that too had been easily taken care of. Shampoo smirked to herself, picturing the near-sighted water fowl attempting to accomplish the endless circle of deliveries she had given him. He shouldn't be back for hours. No one was there except herself…and Ranma. She started to giggle again, when suddenly she felt her hand run over what it had been seeking. She eagerly removed her appendage from the pack and glanced at the small item that now found residence atop her palm.

It was a pill, a small one, and green in color. As she continued to prepare the trap…er…food, she kept glancing back at it. It would easily pass for a pea, and she knew, at the rate that her Airen ate anything, if she just placed it in the bowl with the rest of the food, he would never suspect the difference. Or at least he better not, after all it had been a lot of trouble setting all of this up. Shampoo stopped rolling out the noodles as the memory from a few days ago flooded into her mind.

* * *

_Shampoo had been digging through her great-grandmother's stash of potions, herbs, and medicines when the elder happened to walk into the room. She shook her head at the child._

'_Whatever are you up to this time, child?' she asked her granddaughter in Mandarin. Shampoo answered haughtily, still rummaging._

'_I'm sick and tired…' she began in her native tongue. 'sick and tired of being ignored by the man I love!' She sighed, but continued her search. 'It seems like it's getting worse and worse every time I try. I've shown him love, affection, and what do I get in return?...Nothing!' Cologne merely stared at the young warrior, emotionlessly. 'Sure I've tried to force his hand a time or two, but still…' she trailed off. 'To make matters worse, he's even started getting along with that violent Akane woman! I haven't seen her pummel him in weeks now…' At this, Cologne narrowed her eyes. Shampoo stopped and met her elder's gaze. 'I need to find something, anything to make him love me…i-if I don't t-they might…' she felt tears slide down her cheeks._

'_Come now.' Her grandmother said in a commanding, yet at the same time reassuring tone. 'This is no way for a proud, Amazon warrior to act.' Shampoo sniffled a bit, knowing her grandmother was right. 'Don't give up just yet, child. Have you forgotten your heritage?' Shampoo sighed and shook her head. As matriarch of the Joketsuzoku she knew that Cologne was an Amazon first and a great-grandmother second. _

'_Sorry, great-grandmother.' She wiped the tears from her eyes. 'I know it's pathetic.'_

'_Nonsense, Xian Pu.' The wizened crone retorted. 'Even an Amazon realizes the immense role that love plays in our lives. To turn a blind eye to it would be foolish indeed.' Shampoo watched as her grandmother softened her expression. 'Feel free to use anything you find, dear.' She got up and walked towards the door. Shampoo was about to return to her task, when Cologne turned back for a final word. 'Just please, this time make sure that you show me anything you find BEFORE you use it on son-in-law…for his safety as well as your own.' With that she left to tend to the kitchen._

_It wasn't much later that Shampoo presented her find to the ancient Amazon. Yet she was in for a shock, as her grandmother's reaction was far from the one she had pictured. 'Where did you find this!' she yelled. 'Give that to me, now!' she commanded this with such a force that Shampoo contemplated falling to her knees and begging for forgiveness. She shook herself back to reality however before her body actually listened._

'_Why, Great-grandmother. What's wrong with this pill? What does it do?' Cologne was about to feign indifference, but she knew that between her granddaughter's determination and her own sudden outburst that she would have to give some kind of answer._

'_It's called the Slave Pill…and anyone who ingests it shall fall under the control of the first person he or she sees.' Shampoo felt relieved._

'_Oh! Is that all? It's not like you to get so excited about a simple suggestion pill. After all, I've used them before.'_

'_That is by no means a 'simple' suggestion pill. It's power is so great that anyone caught making it is instantly sentenced to death…the fact that I managed to recover one for my collection is a miracle in itself….Xian Pu….'her cold stare caught the young warrior a little off guard. 'You will hand that pill over to me this instant! You have no idea what that weapon is capable of…I warn you, if you continue to disobey me….I will not hesitate to take drastic measures.' Knowing from her unnerving gaze that she spoke truthfully, she reluctantly placed the pill in her open hand. 'There. Xian Pu, you must swear to me, on your honor as a warrior of the Joketsuzoku that you will never, ever use this pill…on anyone. Understand?' The Amazon meekly nodded. 'Swear to me, Xian Pu.' _

'_I-I swear, on my honor, to never use that pill.' Shampoo repeated. Her grandmother let out a long sigh._

'_All right then. I'll just go dispose of this, then it's back to work.' She said as she pogoed out of the kitchen. Shampoo smiled to herself. If there was an object that was powerful enough to scare her grandmother that badly, she knew it was just the ticket to make Ranma Saotome hers forever. She let out a soft chuckle. '_Swear to me, Xian Pu.' Yes grandmother, I swear. _She thought to herself, while her fingers practiced a custom she had picked up from Japanese culture…one was crossed over the other._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

"S-so…hungry…" panted Ryoga Hibiki, as he trudged down a lone Nerima street, propping himself up on a walking stick. "I wonder where the hell I am…ack!" The eternally lost boy felt his stomach turn circles in starvation. How long had it been since he'd eaten? _It has to have been almost two weeks now…_he thought to himself. _After all, I've been lost outside of civilization for at least a week and a half …_(In reality he had merely been running circles in Nerima Park). _I-I've gotta f-find out where I am…but…s-so hungry…" _Suddenly Ryoga stopped dead in his tracks as a sweet smell caught his attention…he knew that smell. "Aww…man…w-what I'd give for a big bowl of ramen…."Feeling his pig instincts kicking in, he sniffed the air in attempt to locate the source of that beautiful aroma. He looked up at the building that the smell was wafting from, and felt his jaw drop to the ground. Through the window he could see two people sitting at a table. One of them he recognized as Ranma Saotome, his hated rival, the other…._Oh could it be?_ The lost boy gasped as he stared at the figure of Akane Tendo…the love of his life! He quickly knelt down out of her sight as she turned her head to look out the window.

Ryoga sat there, crouching for a few moments, his hunger nothing but a distant memory. _Oh…there's no way I can go in there like this…I-I mean, my clothes are all dirty, and I haven't bathed in weeks! N-no…'sigh' I better just head home…_ As if on cue, his stomach reminded him of the direness of the current situation. _Ah…Okay, I'll go in! But I gotta be prepared… I gotta make an entrance…_

_Ryoga casually strolled in through the door. Immediately, his eyes met the fair chocolate diamonds that belonged to his beloved._

'_Ryoga?' She shrieked happily. He returned her surprise with a wink._

'_Akane…'_

'_What brings you here?' Akane asked, gazing at him longingly._

'_You're here aren't you?' he replied, gliding over towards her._

'_You…you mean you came all this way…just to see me?' he took her hands in his._

'_Of course I did, Akane… there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time…' he continued to gaze into her soft, sparkling eyes._

'_What is it?'_

'_Akane, I lov-'_

Suddenly his fantasy was cut short as a passing car sped through a puddle left over from an earlier rain shower, drenching him to the bone. Too caught up in his day dream to notice the change, onlookers could only stare in awe as a little black pig stumbled into the Cat Cafe.

* * *

_I wish that Shampoo would hurry up._ Ranma said, impatiently. _Trick or not….I'm starving._ Luckily he wouldn't be worrying about that for too much longer.

"It ready, Airen." The blue-haired Amazon emerged from the kitchen carrying an enormous bowl of ramen. If the customer had been anyone else, the bowl would've provided a family of four with a satisfying meal. Ranma could feel his mouth begin to water. Shampoo stared at Akane. "Akane? What you doing here?" She tried to fight off the anger evident in her voice.

"Well to be honest I-" the youngest Tendo began, but was cut short as Shampoo slammed the bowl on the table.

"Here you go, Airen. This ramen all for YOU!" she said forcefully. 'none for stupid kitchen wrecker…' she added under her breath.

"Hey! Shampoo I didn't come here to-" but she was cut off again as Shampoo reached out with a pair of chopsticks and brought a morsel to Ranma's mouth.

"Say Ahhh, Ranma." She cooed, practically shoving the noodles down her Airen's trought.

"Shammmmman…" was all he could manage to say, as he half choked to death.

"Oh! So you're letting her feed you now! Hmph! Pervert!"

"Oh come on Akane, you can't- bmmmoph." He was interrupted as the Amazon shoved more food down his mouth. Akane got up to leave.

"Well I hope you enjoy your lunch, jerk! I don't know why I even-" she suddenly stopped in her tracks. "P-Chan!!!" She shrieked as her pet pig walked in through the door. She ran to him and began cuddling him in her arms, rocking him furiously. "Oh, where have you been! It's been almost two weeks now!" She smirked as she glanced over towards her fiancée. If it was one thing that bothered him above all else, it was her pet pig…although she didn't quite know why, she knew that cuddling him like this would definitely get on his nerves. Unfortunately his attention was occupied at the moment by his Amazonian suitor.

"Come Airen, Shampoo say open wide!" She was struggling to open his mouth, practically stabbing in his direction with the chopsticks, but Ranma dodged and knocked the chopsticks from her hand.

"I can feed myself, y'know." He picked up another set of chopsticks and was about to reach in for another morsel…but he suddenly stopped himself. _Great, she already fed me a few bites…what if it was spiked?_ Sensing his distress, Shampoo reached for a bite herself.

"Silly, is no poison…see?" She said, as she slurped up her own portion of the noodles. Still not convinced, Ranma was about to protest when his stomach intervened. He let out a sigh, and began to dig in. Akane looked on with anger in her eyes. She was about to say something, when she noticed the pig nestled in her arms had a similar reaction.

"Aww, P-Chan you must be starving." The pig nodded furiously, tears streaming from his eyes. Akane grabbed a bowl from the nearby counter and walked back over to where her fiancée was stuffing his face.

"Akane, what you-" Shampoo began as Akane began filling the small bowl with ramen from Ranma's.

"Relax, I'm just feeding a little bit to P-Chan…that is if it isn't, y'know, poisoned or anything." She sent a cold glance in the Amazon's direction.

"Uhhh" The Amazon realized she was caught between a rock and a hard place, so she responded as best as she could. "No…o-of course not! Feed piggy all violent girl want! Hehe…" The moment she placed the both the bowl and pig on the floor, 'P-Chan' leapt straight into heaven, leaving little time to come up for air.

"Heh. You're probably thirsty, too. I'll go get you some water." Akane got up and filled up another bowl with water.

_Oh well,_ the Amazon thought. _I know the pill's in pretty deep…just as long as she only took a little off of the top…_ Then a thought came to her. _Ayaa! I don't know how resilient that pill is…._a look of horror spread across her face. _At this rate it could dissolve before Ranma gets a chance to swallow it! _She had to think of some way to make him eat faster…

"Hurry up, Airen!" Shampoo shouted, as she attempted to shove more in his face.

"Geez Shampoo! What's the rush?" Ranma raised an eyebrow at the worried Amazon.

"Uhh…" Suddenly Shampoo was struck by an idea. "Y-you have to beat record! Y-yeah, record!"

"Huh? Whadda' ya mean record?" Ranma asked, slurping up the noodles hanging down his chin.

"We having contest today! Whoever eats with the fastest time gets free ramen for whole month!" Shampoo held her breath…awaiting her Airen's reply.

"Yeah right, that's just what I need…a whole month's worth of love potions. Forget it!"

_No! I'm losing…gotta think of something quick!_ Suddenly, a sly grin spread across Shampoo's face.

"Gasp! Y-you mean Airen back down from challenge?!" It's amazing what one simple word can do to a man, especially a man like Ranma Saotome.

"C-challegne…" Shampoo nodded wickedly. "W-well when you put it that way…" In a flash, he was off, hands flying faster than the speed of light.

_Yes! At this speed he'll be done within a few minutes….and then he'll be all mine! Nothing can go wrong now!_ If only she could take back that last statement…

"Ranma Saotome!!! Stop this instant!!" Everyone suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked toward the source of the voice. Shampoo could've hit herself.

_Oh no…anyone but…_

"Mousse?" Akane asked, surprised by the boy's abrupt appearance.

"Mousse, what you doing here?!" Shampoo's anger rose to a peak. "Thought I sent you out on deliveries!"

"And so you did, but nothing can keep me away from you for too long, Shampoo. I hurried as fast as I could in order to be back with you sooner! Oh…Shampoo!" He grabbed his love in a tight embrace, failing to notice that his 'love' was a coat rack.

"Put glasses on, birdbrain!" Shampoo shook her head. Doing as ordered, Mousse pulled his specs out of his pocket and placed them firmly on his face. Immediately after doing so, he reached back in and pulled out a pair of chopsticks.

"Saotome! I hereby challenge you to an eating contest! The person to eat the last bite of ramen is the victor, and that person will be the one to claim the month's worth of free meals!" At this point his voice took on an airy, dreamlike tone. "Just imagine, a whole month worth of meals made by my darling Shampoo…ahhhhh... made with her love!" He shoved his chopsticks into Ranma's bowl and began devouring what remained.

"H-hey!" Ranma immediately followed suite, not wanting to lose any challenge made to him by the nearsighted, concealed weapons master.

"Stupid duck! You live here, Shampoo cook for you anyways!" But both Ranma and Mousse were too far gone to be interrupted by such a statement. _This is bad…Aiyaa…why me?_

Akane stared, disgusted at the two martial artists. They were making bigger pigs out of themselves than P-Chan. "Geez, will you two at least slow down…That's disgusting."

"Oh yeah," Ranma laughed, mouth full. "Maybe you should look in a mirror, tomboy." Somehow, even when it was full of food, Ranma Saotome always seemed to find enough room in his mouth for his foot.

"Why you…" Akane fumed.

"But then again, I guess it can't be helped…" Ranma sneered. "What with you being a girl and all."

"What?!" Akane could feel her mallet materialize in her hands.

"You heard me, when it comes to eating contests…girls just fall short."

"Oh really?..." Akane asked as she splashed P-Chan's water all over her arrogant fiancée. "That's funny coming from you, Ranko!" She said with a wicked smile on her face as her fiancee changed forms. Ranma flinched at the sound of his old alias. "Why would I care about some stupid eating contest anyway?!"

"So you admit you'd lose!" Akane's anger was hitting its peak.

_I'll show that jerk!!! _She thought. Grabbing another pair of chopsticks, she joined her pig-tailed fiancée and his web-footed rival in their feeding frenzy.

Shampoo watched on in terror. A huge sweat drop formed down her face. She couldn't take it anymore…

"Aiyaaa!!!! Now how Shampoo supposed to know which one ate pill?!!!!!" The room became deathly still as the realization of Shampoo's comment hit home.

"What-" Akane began.

"Pill?" her fiancée finished, as the last noodle from the bowl entered his mouth. Feeling their battle auras rising, the Amazon meekly retreated to a corner.

"Hehehe…uhh…I" Suddenly, the fire-hot air become mortally cold. Shampoo looked up in fear as she glanced at the figure now standing in the doorway.

"Yes, **dear**, granddaughter…" Cologne asked in a tone that could freeze hell itself. "**What pill?"**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or its characters. Anyone who says otherwise is a lair.

Chapter 3

"This is bad…very, very bad." The eldest Amazon shook her head, a worrying wrinkle joining its brethren upon her face. She sat atop her staff, glancing at the ground, avoiding eye contact with the several young teenagers surrounding her. All eyes were glued to her presence. Each could feel the lingering weight of dread in the air. Finally, after a few moments, the old crone raised her head from its slump and gazed at her great-granddaughter. Shampoo detected more than a hint of anger as her eyes met those staring at her. "How could you do this?! After you gave me your sworn word no less…." Shampoo started to reply.

"But-"

"Shampoo!" her voice struck out with a brutal force. The young Amazon immediately shut her mouth, the contents of her rebuttal completely forgotten. "You have broken a warrior's oath. Anything you could possibly say in your defense would be for naught, as words alone cannot change what has taken place." Shampoo felt her heat sink to the floor, as the youngest Tendo started to speak.

"But elder Cologne, just what **has **taken place?" Too lost in her thoughts, the elder had failed to explain the situation.

"Yeah ya old ghoul, what the hell is with that pill you mentioned?" Ranma looked at the ancient Amazon with a glint of suspicion. She couldn't blame him, however. After everything she and her protégé had put them through over the past few years, he had every right to be suspicious…heck, he had every right to hate them.

_But all of that pales in comparison to what has just been placed on their shoulders,_ she thought to herself. She sighed, but the grave expression stayed firmly planted on her face. "Unfortunately, as I'm sure you've already guessed, that bowl of ramen you ate contained a powerful tablet…no doubt placed in there as another scheme concocted by my granddaughter, the goal of which being to win your love, son in law."

"Yeah, I think I got that." The red-head sent Shampoo a fierce look, which only made her sink further.

"If you'll let me continue…" the old ghoul harrumphed. "Unfortunately, we are uncertain which one of you swallowed the pill, since, as you told me, all of you had a hand in eating the ramen. That fact alone makes this problem all the worse…" Ranma's patience was wearing thin.

"Cut to the chase already! What does it do?"

"The pill that Shampoo attempted to use is an ancient weapon known in your tongue as the Slave Pill. Anyone who ingests it will be forced to follow any command given to them by the first person he or she sees." The elder kept her stern expression as her 'audience' each let out a sigh of relief.

"I don't mean to be rude," Akane said with a slight smile. "But that really doesn't sound all that bad." Her fiancée nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I mean after all, we've already dealt with those kinda things before." Her look had changed from serious to cocky. Cologne still held her narrowed gaze.

_None of them truly grasp the seriousness of this situation…_the old ghoul thought to herself. _I'd best explain this as plainly as possible, they need to understand how dangerous that pill is…but there's no need for them to panic at a time like this. I'll have to tread lightly. _"Son in law…I am sorry." Ranma was caught off guard by the sincerity in her voice. She was…sorry? Ranma thought back to all of the times that the eldest Amazon and her great-granddaughter had attempted to win him over with various potions, pills, items, and schemes. To Cologne he had been little more than a prize, a trophy to take back and show off to the village. Never, in a million years even, had he ever imagined her apologizing for any of her actions….yet here 'she' stood in awe, as the old ghoul was doing exactly that. Ranma attempted to shake herself back to reality.

"What are you sorry for? Shampoo was the one that fed me…" she looked around at her companions. "…one of us…that pill. You said yourself that you had nothing to do with it, you even made her swear not to." Suddenly, the pig-tailed martial artist felt a twinge of fear well up inside her. If the old ghoul was scared to the point of apologizing…it couldn't be good.

"What you say is true. I did **forbid** her from using such a pill," she sent another cold glance toward her cowering grand-daughter. "But I'm afraid I've done little to discourage her actions. If I had ever imagined that our efforts to bring you back to our village as Shampoo's husband would have led up to this…then I would have proceeded with a great deal more caution, and for that…I am truly, deeply sorry." Ranma could feel a lump begin to grow in her throat…and she was sure that she wasn't the only one in the room to be affected by the crone's statement. Akane and Shampoo had looks of pure shock, and Mousse had lowered his head, his expression hidden beneath his thick glasses.

"As I tried to explain to Shampoo…the Slave Pill is no ordinary suggestion pill. Unlike our many previous…attempts…the victim will not simply follow just **one** command based on **one **stimulus, but will instead be unconsciously subject to literally **every **spoken order issued by his or her 'controller'…whether that order was intentional or not." What relief had been felt in the room was lost as a feeling of overwhelming doom welcomed itself back in.

"S-so…you mean…" Akane began, dumbfounded. Cologne nodded.

"I'm afraid so…whoever it was that swallowed the pill, will soon be under someone else's beck and call…unconsciously, with no say in the matter." Out of nowhere, confidence began to return to Ranma's face.

"Well then that should be easy enough to fix…We just need to keep the two separated until the pill wears off. No harm done." Akane nodded at her fiancée's comment.

"Yeah, that's right. We just-"But she stopped herself as she noticed the eldest Amazon shaking her head.

"Unfortunately, there are a number of things wrong with that plan, son in law. First of all, it would be impossible to truly separate the 'slave' from its 'master'. The slave is bound by the pill's effects to remain within in a certain proximity to its controller, otherwise he or she begins to suffer from extreme separation anxiety." Ranma felt the lump return to her throat. 'P-Chan' let out a soft squeal. "Secondly…I'm sorry to say that the pill doesn't wear off. And as far as I know…a cure does **not** exist." The mood in the room became deathly still, as no one said a word for a few moments, the last statement sinking in. Finally, for the first time since the pill's nature had been revealed, Mousse began to speak.

"Forgive my intrusion, elder…" The near-sighted Amazon raised his head. "But if an object this powerful, this…dangerous…existed in our village why have Shampoo and I not heard about it." The blue-haired warrior glanced at the duck-boy, a surprised look on her face.

"Yeah…as much as Shampoo hate to say it…Mousse have point." Cologne stared at the boy for a few moments, then gave her answer.

"It was a well kept secret…very few in the Joketsuzoku are aware of its existence, namely a couple of council members…and myself." Mousse eyed her wearily, his eyes still hidden behind his glasses. "But…I suppose a little history lesson wouldn't hurt." She pogoed over to behind the counter, placing the cat carrier she had ran off with earlier on a shelf, and pulled out a match from one of the drawers. She took out her long pipe, lit it, and took a seat atop the counter. After a few long puffs, she began.

* * *

"_A long, long time ago…back when I was but a toddler, there lived a young medicine maker in our village by the name of Tsu Po. He was well respected in the village, and was even proclaimed a progeny when it came to concocting remedies, pills, and potions. All of this earned him a place of honor in the Joketsuzuko, one hard for a man to achieve. His hand was sought by many a fair, young warrior, yet he consistently turned them down one by one, as he already had his heart set on a particular woman. Her name was Pi Fum, the great-granddaughter of a high council member. Unfortunately, the boy was shy, and it took him a long time to finally work up the courage to confront Pi Fum with his feelings. _

_One night, after following our initial courtship rituals (similar to your tradition of buying a young girl flowers or chocolate) he went to her home in order to seek her hand. The man was in for a shock however, as he saw the young girl through her window…kissing another man… Tsu Po's rival potion maker, Ru Ge, creator of the Phoenix Pill. Tsu Po left in a hurry, his heart broken._

_As one of the highest honored men in the Joketsuzuko, the young potion maker was a stranger to rejection. Unable to cope with the fact that his beloved was in love with another man, he vowed revenge against Ru Ge. In a fit of madness, Tsu Po created a weapon that would ensure the separation of the unfortunate couple... one in the form of a small green pill. Tsu Po placed the pill in a cake, offering it to Ru Ge as an official 'gift of peace' to end their fierce rivalry. The next day, Tsu Po put his plan into action. Under the effects of the pill, Ru Ge was ordered to end his relationship with Pi Fum…as violently as possible. Tsu Po arrived at her house later that night in order to console her. While she was thankful for his concern and comforts, she refused his proposal, claiming that the only man she could ever love had just walked out on her._

_Angered to no end, Tsu Po left her house, his heart once again shattered. His mind and soul were beyond repair. He ordered Ru Ge to follow him to the Forlorn Cliffs on the outskirts of our village. Without explanation, he gave his rival one final command…'Jump.' Ru Ge was never seen in our home again. Tsu Po's actions, however, did not go unnoticed._

_One thing the Joketsuzuko prides itself on, other than the strength of its warriors, is the wisdom of its council members. They were able to uncover the truth behind Ru Ge's death. They realized that the pill Tsu Po created could one day be used as a very effective weapon. Before sentencing the young medicine man to death, they were able to retrieve the recipe for the small green pill from him. Thus, the Slave Pill was officially born. After testing its power on a few subjects, however, the elder council soon realized that it was too dangerous to be put into circulation. They decided that the pill and its power would be kept a secret, and anyone caught making it from that day on would be immediately put to death. _

_How did I manage to come across one, you might ask? Well…let's just say that being an elder of the Joketsuzuko has its…privileges."_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

Cologne took another long puff of her pipe as she gauged the expressions on her audiences' faces. Mousse was nodding softly, obviously satisfied with her answer. Akane had a bit of sadness in her eyes, as she found the story a little tragic. P-Chan had merely managed to fall asleep in her arms. Shampoo had finally seemed to recover herself, and was standing with a defiant look on her face. Ranma, unsurprisingly, looked slightly annoyed, her impatience once again getting the better of her.

"So..." the red-haired martial artist started. "That was a nice story n' all. But that still doesn't really help our situation any. After all, we still don't know who ate the pill." Suddenly Mousse, had an idea.

"What if we just order each other around?" everyone suddenly nodded in agreement.

"Hey that's not a bad idea!" Akane said. "Then whoever it is that actually follows any of the orders is obviously the one under the pill's effect!" Again, the elder shook her head.

"Unfortunately, that won't do either." Ranma was getting a little ticked off by the old ghoul's habit of turning down their suggestions.

"And just **why **won't that work?"

"It seems I left out a small detail…" Ranma rolled her eyes.

"That's surprising…" she muttered under her breath. The comment did not go unnoticed, however, as she felt the end of Cologne's staff collide with her head.

"Humph. Do you want my help or not, son in law?" Ranma rubbed her head and nodded.

"Yeah…sorry." Ranma half-whispered the last word. Akane shook her head at her pig-tailed fiancée.

"As I was about to say…The pill has not actually taken effect yet." Everyone looked at the old crone with confused eyes. Ranma was about to utter another remark, but he was silenced by a quick nudge from Akane. " You see, right now the pill is lying dormant within one of your stomachs. The pill does not activate until the person who ingested it goes to sleep. It is the person he or she firsts sees when they wake up that takes on the role of the 'master'."

"Well, why didn't you tell us that before?!" Ranma felt like he could hit the old ghoul, and probably would have if he had been fast enough to **actually** hit her. Everyone turned and looked at the raging pig-tailed girl. Akane had half a mind to bash her with her mallet, but stopped herself as Ranma's expression once again changed from angry to a familiar cocky one. She had just had an idea…one she hoped the elder didn't have a negative answer for. "Tell me, old ghoul…if the pill doesn't activate, is it…digestible?"

"I suppose so, son in law…why?" the old crone looked at her quizzically, a small grin on her face.

"Well…you said that the pill only takes effect **after** whoever ate it goes to sleep, right? So then, if we don't go to sleep…the pill never activates. All we'd have to do is remain awake long enough for the pill to…exit…our system." While Akane shuddered a bit at the last phrase, she couldn't help but agree. After all, the idea did make sense. "And I'm sure," her fiancée continued. "That you've gotta have some potions, or herbs, or something around here that will keep us up for a while." She beamed at the old Amazon proudly. Unfortunately, her pride was short lived, as Cologne let out a soft chuckle.

"A good plan, son in law, but the answer is once again…no. For starters, anything I have that could keep you awake is far too strong…one whiff could keep you up for months! That's too much of a strain on any person's body, save the highest trained of our people. But more importantly, the pill was designed with such an idea in mind. If it has been dormant within a person for too long, it releases hormones into the body that make it shut down, effectively forcing the victim to fall asleep." Defeated, Ranma returned to her former mood. "But…" The elder shut her eyes for a moment. "I have been thinking. There may yet be a way to at least determine **who** is to be the pill's victim." All eyes snapped back to the ancient elder.

"How, ya old ghoul?! Spit it out!" The old crone furrowed her brow.

" As an elder of the Joketsuzuko, I have been heavily trained in the ways of potion making, as you have no doubt noticed, son in law." Ranma shook her head.

"Yeah….tell me about it…"

"As such, I am also proficiently trained in the art of detecting the presence of poison in the body. I know a certain…technique… that should allow me to effectively examine each of you, and that should…though it is a long shot…reveal which one of you swallowed it. However," She raised her head and took turns gazing at them one at a time. "The technique requires the utmost concentration. I'm afraid I'd have to examine you each individually. Have you any objections?" Everyone shook their heads. Cologne nodded. "Very well then, son in law I think I'll start with you first. Follow me into the kitchen." After looking around at the rest of them, Ranma gave a curt nod and followed the old ghoul.

* * *

"Now just relax son in law, this will only take a moment." Ranma found herself lying on one of the counter-tops, staring at the ceiling.

"All right…but if you try anything funny…OWW!" Ranma screamed as she felt the elder's staff collide with her head once more.

"I said relax! It won't work unless you do!" sighing, Ranma forced her body to comply. Slowly, she felt her muscles relax, and her head slumped. The wizened crone closed her eyes and began muttering something under her breath. Her hands began moving in a circular motion, and she could feel her ki begin to swell as a mass of energy began radiating from them. She waved her hands along the young martial artist's body, and Ranma could feel herself immediately loosen up, to the point that she felt like she no longer had any control over her body. She felt elated, as if she were floating. The minute Cologne removed her hands, however, she came crashing down as her mind returned to reality. "There…" The old ghoul sighed. "We are finished."

"Well…did you find anything…unusual?" Cologne shook her head.

"I-I'm not sure, son in law…I'm really not sure."

"Well then, that did a whole hell of a lot." Ranma scoffed. "Who ya want me to send in next 'doc'?"

"I believe Ryoga will be as good as anyone." Ranma nodded.

"I'll go get the little porker then."

* * *

After everyone had been thoroughly examined. Cologne hopped out of the kitchen, a worried look on her face. Ranma felt a little unnerved by her expression.

"Well, what's the verdict? Who swallowed it?" Slowly, the old ghoul raised her head.

"Unfortunately…I don't know." Everyone practically fell to the floor at the elder's reply.

"Waddaya mean you don't know!" Ranma yelled angrily. Suddenly he felt a hand grab his shoulder. He turned to find himself staring into the dark-brown eyes of his fiancée.

"Ranma, yelling isn't going to solve anything. I'm sure she tried her best!" Ranma was about to say something in reply, but cut himself off. He let out a long sigh. Even he had to admit it…she was right.

"Well then…I guess we're back to square one." Mousse took off his glasses and rubbed them with his shirt.

"I'm afraid you're right. The pill was just as deceptive as I thought. It seems that after the council began making the pill in order to use it as a weapon, they changed the formula a bit in order to make it undetectable, even from my technique." She shook her head.

"So what do you suggest we do?" The youngest Tendo asked, a little worry evident in her voice.

"For now, I suggest we all get some rest. It's getting late, and I'm sure Tendo-san is worried about you. Until it is evident who has swallowed the pill, our lives should resume as normal. After all, only one of you will be under the pill's effects, and three of you won't be." Ranma and Akane nodded. After a few minutes, they began to get up and head toward the door.

"Well, old ghoul, Mousse…Shampoo…" at hearing the coldness in her name, the young Amazon flinched. "I can't say it's been fun." She turned and was about to open the door, when a thought struck her. "Say…did you ever catch up to that old freak, Happosai?"The eldest Amazon gave her a small smile.

"As a matter of fact, I did." She pointed up towards the shelf where she had set the cat carrier. Squinting her eyes, Ranma noticed that inside the cat carrier was the limp body of an unconscious old pervert. "It's magically sealed…" the elder let out a laugh. "He won't be bothering anyone anytime soon." Ranma returned the laugh as she let the door close behind her.

* * *

"Say Ranma," Akane asked as the pair entered the gates to the Tedno dojo. "Do you suppose we ought to skip school tomorrow?" She eyed her fiancée, a twinge of worry still evident in her voice. Ranma sighed and shook her head.

"Naw…As much as I a hate that place, we've been skipping too much. Between the 'rumor-brigade' and Hinako-sensei's wrath, I can't see how skipping class would do us much good." Akane nodded.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…"

"Why'd you ask anyway, it's not like you to want to skip school." Akane stopped for a moment and looked up at her fiancée.

"Well I was just thinking… Cologne said that that pill would force us to fall asleep, right? So if the two of us managed to stay up all night, we couldn't possibly have been the ones to swallow it." Ranma nodded in agreement.

"That does sound like a good plan. I think we could pull it off, too." He smiled at his blue-black haired companion. She blushed a little at his compliment. Of course, such a moment was short lived. "I mean it's not like you gotta worry about getting any beauty sleep, eh, Tomboy?!"

Ranma laughed, as a mallet launched him off of his feet.

* * *

Ranma and Akane ate dinner that night without saying a word to each other. Akane left dinner a little early and headed up to the bathroom. It had indeed been a long day, and she felt like a good soak was in order.

After stealing a few bits of food from his son's plate, an enraged Ranma chased her father outside and kicked him into the koi pond, effectively changing Genma Soatome into the form of a Panda.

'_What the hell was that for?' _ the panda 'sign-spoke'.

"For stealing my food, you idiot!" It was then that the sight of her father's transformation started to sink in. She looked down into the pond at her reflection. She had been a girl half of the day! Ranma turned on her heels and headed back inside.

'_Just where do you think you're going, boy?'_

" To wash up, and get out of this body." She headed upstairs, past where Kasumi Tendo and Nibiki Tendo sat, sipping tea.

"Say," the middle Tendo sister began. "Didn't Akane just go up to take a bath?" Her elder sister smiled broadly.

"No, she went up a little while ago. Surely she's done by now…." Suddenly…as if on cue… a cry began to ring out through the house.

"RANMA!!! YOU PERVERT!!!!!!"

The eldest Tendo kept her broad smile. "Of course, I've been wrong before." Suddenly their attention was brought to a toweled Akane's pursuit of her half-naked fiancée. Ranma stopped at the top of the stairs.

"Akane, I-I didn't know you were in there!" Akane swung at her with her mallet, whilst holding her own towel close to her body.

"Right! Like I'm supposed to believe that!" She yelled as Ranma avoided her attack.

"Why in hell would I wanna look at an unsexy, Tomboy like you, anyway?!" Furious, Akane was about to attack again, but she felt herself trip.

"Akane!"

"AHHHH!!" She fell on top of her and the two tumbled down the stairs, banging their heads against the floor.

"Oh my!" Everyone rushed over to stare at the two unconscious teenagers. Soun Tendo felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh my dear Akane! Speak to me!" Nibiki shook her head.

"I'm sure they'll be just all right, dad." Kasumi nodded.

"Yes, maybe this was for the best. Let's not wake them. Why don't you just take them up to their rooms and let them rest, father?" Wiping the tears from his face, Soun nodded and picked up Akane in his arms while a pair of furry bear claws did the same to Ranma. Nibiki continued to shake her head as the pair bounded up the stairs.

"What a waste, the night's still young." Kasumi merely smiled at her sister.

"Oh I'm sure it will be okay with them. They've been so restless lately….A little sleep will do them some good.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: (crossing fingers) I own Ranma ½ and its characters. Anyone trying to use them for their own purposes will endure my wrath…

Ch. 4

When Ranma awoke the next morning, the first thing she noticed was her splitting headache.

_Geez, what the hell hit me?_ She rubbed her head, gently, and began taking in her surroundings. The room was unusually quiet. Ranma looked to her left in wonder, as she noticed that a loudly snoring panda was nowhere to be seen. She rubbed her eyes, letting a yawn escaped from her lips, as she looked out the window. Suddenly, a realization hit her. _It's…daylight… What time is it? _She glanced at the large clock adorning the wall…and froze in horror. _8:00?! I'm gonna be late!_

Ranma rushed out of her room and headed downstairs, stopping by the bathroom on the way for a quick gender change. He was practically fuming as he passed the kitchen where Kazumi Tendo was preparing breakfast. _Why in the hell did that stupid tomboy not wake me up?_ _Could it be because she's mad at me?_ Ranma racked his brain in thought. Nothing added up. The memory of last night was, at best, a little fuzzy. He didn't remember making her mad…but who could be sure of anything where he was concerned. Still, even if Akane was angry at him, it had never stopped her from waking him up before. She knew that Ranma hated school with a passion, forcing him to go was punishment in itself. His train of thought was disrupted before he could reach a conclusion as a call erupted from the kitchen.

"Ranma-kun, is that you?" the eldest Tendo sister poked her head out of the kitchen doorway.

"Yeah, it's me." The martial artist took a few steps backward and entered the kitchen. He glanced around the room, noticing that breakfast was nearly finished. All that it was lacking was the miso soup, which Ranma immediately identified as being contained in the silver pot atop the stove. Kasumi gave the young martial artist a cheery smile.

"Breakfast will be done shortly." Ranma nodded and headed out into the living room. Nabiki was sitting in front of the TV, watching some show about how to properly invest one's finances. As usual, Genma and Soun sat on opposite sides of their shogi board, a game already in progress. His mother sat at the table, sipping a cup of tea. Only one thing seemed to be missing…

"Hey, where's Akane?" he asked as Kasumi entered, carrying the meal on a tray. She placed it on the table and began setting out everyone's portions. Nabiki looked over her shoulder at the pig-tailed youth.

"My guess is that she's still upstairs, asleep." The middle Tendo shook her head. "She's going to be late to school **and** miss breakfast…Looks like the start of one hell of a day."

"She's still asleep?" Ranma asked, dumbfounded. It wasn't like his fiancée to oversleep; it always seemed to him that she had some sort of biological clock when it came to waking up for school. Kasumi nodded and glanced upstairs, her smile disappearing.

"Yes, and I'm starting to get a little worried, what with the fall you two had last night…"

"Waddya mean 'fall'?" Ranma interrupted, slightly confused. Nabiki chimed in with the answer.

"You crept in on her in the bath, she called you a pervert, she chased you with a mallet, she tripped, you fell down the stairs and knocked yourselves unconscious…" She shut off the TV. and took her seat at the table. "Nothing out of the usual." Ranma rubbed his sore head…no wonder it hurt. The eldest Tendo just kept looking upstairs.

"Yes…but still," She turned her gaze and looked at Ranma. "She's not as used to these sort of things as you are, Ranma-kun…getting knocked out I mean. Do you think you could possibly go upstairs and try to wake her up?" She had a pleading sort of look in her eye…for Kasumi at least…so Ranma felt he had no choice but to comply. Slowly, he left the room and headed toward Akane's bedroom.

He knocked as loud as he could on her door, hoping that she might be roused enough for the sound to wake her, but that was not the case. After a few moments, he opened the door and entered her room. Standing in the doorway, he was about to yell out her name, when he noticed her sleeping form. She looked so…peaceful, so…serene, so……cute. Ranma blushed slightly as he slowly approached her bed. He felt a lump grow in his throat. How could he have ever called her uncute, unsexy, or thick-thighed? He knew that he had never meant those insults; he only used them when he wanted to entice her anger…or, simply, out of habit. But finding himself staring at his beautiful, sleeping fiancée, he could no longer remember how he had ever come up with such insults in the first place. Images began to race through his mind, as he begrudgingly recalled a time, not so long ago, when he had seen her look this peaceful before.

* * *

_She wasn't breathing…. Ranma knew that could only mean one thing... for the first time in his life, he had been too late…too late to save the woman he…..cared for…._

_She lay in his arms…not breathing, lifeless… just like the doll she had been moments earlier. She was no different than a doll….unmoving, silent…peaceful. He tried desperately to wake her up, calling her name, shaking her, but she refused to comply. She just laid there, limp in his arms….just like a doll…._

* * *

Suddenly, Ranma forced himself to shake those images from his mind. He blushed heavily, as he found his hand had somehow made contact with her soft cheek. He quickly pulled it back in fear. _What the hell am I doing?!_ He gave himself a quick punch to the noggin. _If she woke up finding me like that, she'd call me a pervert…_Only this time, such a reaction may actually be founded. _Maybe I am becoming a pervert…_he caught himself thinking. _I can't stop thinking about her…waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, unable to go back to sleep until I make sure that she's okay…It's getting ridiculous…_he let out a soft laugh, as he gently brushed her cheek again. _I'm no better than that little..._

"OWWW!!!!" Ranma called out in pain as a little black pig bit down on his finger. "What the hell are you doing back here?!!" He yelled, grabbing the little pig in a tight choke hold. P-Chan retaliated by gnawing his arm. Ranma yanked the porker off and threw him against the wall. He glanced at his sleeping fiancée, anger continuing to build in his voice. "Can't you leave her alone, you perverted little…" Ranma was about to cross the room to deliver the finishing blow…when he noticed a pair of big, chocolate colored eyes staring back into his deep blue ones. "A-Akane…" he stammered. "It's not what it…" his sentence was cut off as he felt a large object smack him in the head.

"Where do you get off calling P-Chan the pervert? The only pervert I see around here is you!!!" the blue-haired Tendo rushed over to her unconscious pet. Her anger began to seethe. "You hurt him! JERK!!!" She raised her mallet to punish him again.

"Geez Akane…CALM DOWN!!! It's not what it looks like!" He covered his face with his arms in order to soften her blow…but it never came. After a few quiet moments, Ranma raised his head to look at his attacker. He was shocked by what he saw.

All anger had fled her expression. She stood there, cradling the little pig to her chest, a small smile spread across her face. She looked positively…calm.

"Uh Akane…weren't you gonna hit me?" her fiancée asked, quizzically. The Tendo let out a soft sigh.

"Of course not, why would I do that?" Her voice had a light and airy tone to it. She simply stared at her fiancée, a far off expression still evident on her face.

"Uh, hello, earth to Akane! You were mad at me, remember?" He waved his hand in front of her distant eyes. "This isn't funny. Snap out of it, already!" Suddenly her demeanor returned to one of intense fury. Her mallet re-materialized and she lashed out with full force, giving Ranma little time to defend himself.

"How dare you hut P-Chan!!! Ranma YOU JERK!!!" Ranma could have hit himself, if she hadn't of beat him to it. For the first time since…well, ever….he had ample time to explain the situation to his, quick-tempered fiancée, and he blew it. He didn't know how…the whole thing seemed kinda weird… but the fact still remained. He was about to yell out a retaliating insult…but stopped himself. They were fighting…again…

Ever since the Saffron incident, he and Akane had been getting into less and less as many fights. He was still as stubborn as ever, and she was still just as bad-tempered, but it seemed to him that she had began to change, albeit slightly. She seemed…happier, almost. She wasn't jumping to conclusions every time Shampoo or Ukyo glomped him, and she seemed to be making an honest attempt to control her temper. And whenever he did send her over the edge, he found it a lot easier to make himself apologize, because he found that he preferred the…peace…that the two began to slowly find with one another. But, for some reason, since yesterday they had begun to return to their old habits, something that Ranma knew he didn't want. He let out a sigh…

_I'd better apologize…while I've got the chance._

"Look, Akane…I-I'm sorry, okay…you know how I feel about that pig." He sent a cold look at the limp, porcine body in her arms. Akane just shook her head. She knew that this was his attempt at an apology…but she couldn't let this… 'rivalry'… continue between her fiancée and pet for much longer. But, then again, she knew that if she enquired about his jealousy over P-Chan she wouldn't be able to get a straight answer…she had tried before. Reluctantly, she had to let the matter rest…for now.

" All right…apology accepted. But why on earth are in here in the first place?" Suddenly, Ranma rose from the floor. He glanced at the clock…his squabble with 'P-Chan' had taken too much time.

"Kasumi sent me up here to wake you up…We both got up pretty late." Akane, too, looked at her clock and let out a loud gasp.

"Oh no! I've gotta get changed!" Ranma nodded and walked out into the hallway. She closed the door behind him and headed into the closet.

Ranma stood leaning against the wall. "Hurry up and get downstairs, already. Breakfast is…" But he was cut short as the door to her room burst open and a half-dressed Akane ran, full speed down the stairs. "…on the ….table?" Ranma just stood, staring in the direction he had seen her run. _What's with her this morning?_ He shrugged, and followed her path down the stairs.

* * *

Ukyo Kounji sat in homeroom, staring out the window. It was a lovely day. The sun was shining brightly, the air was warm and crisp, and the flowers and trees were beginning to bloom as the last hints of winter began to slowly die away. Yet, despite all of this, she was unhappy. She let out a long sigh. Suddenly, she snapped back into attention as the door to the classroom burst open. Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo entered, quite out of breath, and bowed to Hinako-sensei.

"We're sorry for being so late, sensei." Akane began to say. "But we-"

"No excuses!" the diminutive teacher reached into her pocket and pulled out a five-yen coin. "Delinquents should be punished!" Ranma felt ice begin to course through his veins.

"Aw, C'mon sensei, we're sorry okay! Please…can't we just stand out in the hall or something?" Hinako eyed him wearily…slowly, she lowered the coin.

"Very well, Mr. Saotome…Buckets! Now!" The two teenagers let out a sigh of relief as each of them grabbed a bucket and headed back out the way they came in.

Now Ukyo remembered why she was unhappy…For the past several weeks, she had received nothing but cold shoulders from the pair. Akane had all but avoided eye contact with her…which was okay…but as for Ranma-chan, who had barely given her a curt nod whenever she greeted him, that was more than she could bare. Meanwhile, to make matters worse, the two of them seemed to be growing closer together than ever before. It was enough to make her blood boil…normally. But for some reason, she didn't feel angry…she didn't even really feel hurt…

_After all,_ she thought._ There's no reason to worry about his feelings towards that tomboy…I'm the cute one, remember._ But somehow, her reassurance only seemed half-hearted. She knew, that if she was going to have any chance at fixing things, she was going to have to confront her fiancée…sooner rather than later. She let out another sigh as the bell rang for first period. _That's it…I'll ask him about it today, after school._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

Ranma and Akane stood outside in the hallway, each holding a large bucket filled to the brim with water. Neither had really spoken during their hurried rush to school this morning. Ranma was curious about his fiancée's strange behavior, and was about to ask about it…when the blue-haired Tendo spoke up first.

"This is all your fault, you know." She said, angrily. Ranma's question was immediately forgotten, as a new line of inquiry took its place.

"Whaddya mean my fault?!"

"If you hadn't of walked in on me last night, we wouldn't of gotten knocked out, thus we wouldn't be late for school." Ranma couldn't believe her.

"Hold on there, Akane! Where do ya go off blamin' me for? It was an accident, remember. Besides…If you hadn't of tripped, we wouldn't have gotten knocked out either!" He waited for her heated reply…When none came, for the second time that day, he looked at her in shock. She was standing there as if frozen, an angry expression glued to her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth was open, as if about to give a reply…but she wasn't moving.

"Gees Akane, if you think you're being funny…" He gave her a quick pat on the head, but she remained motionless. "Uh…are you okay? Answer me." Suddenly, Akane burst back to life.

"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?" Ranma shook his head in disbelief.

"Okay, seriously. Is this some kinda joke?" He knew by Akane's fiery stare that she wasn't kidding around.

"What are you talking about?" she stared at him, confused. Ranma was about to reply when the bell began to ring. Shaking his head he started to go back into the classroom.

"Nothing…well…we'd better go get ready for gym." Suddenly, he stopped short and glanced back at his fiancée. She had a look of sheer terror on her face.

* * *

"Hey guys, d'you think Akane's acting a little…strange this morning?" Ranma found himself asking his best 'friends', Hiroshi and Daisuke in the men's locker room. Hiroshi merely shook his head.

"Dude, how should we know?"

"Yeah," Daisuke added. "I mean after all, we only saw you guys for a few seconds. Hinako-sensei sent you two out in the hall, remember?"

"O-Oh yeah…" Ranma sighed, a little embarrassed. His friends looked at one another, then back at him.

"Geez man," Hiroshi began. "You sound really worried." At this comment, Ranma switched into defensive mode.

"What?! No way! Why would I be worried about an unsexy, tomboy like her?" The pair shook their heads.

"C'mon, man, we're not complete idiots…" Ranma was about to protest otherwise, but Hiorshi smacked him on the head.

"It's obvious," Daisuke continued. " That whether you admit it or not, you really do care for her…a lot."

"Do not!" Ranma snorted as he slipped into his dark-blue, one-piece bathing suit. Hiroshi and Daisuke sighed again and glanced back over at the young martial artist.

"Ummm…dude….d'you have to put that thing on while in guy form? It's embarrassing." Ranma looked at the duo angrily.

"What, and have you guys ogling me like a pack of wolves? Forget it! I'll change soon enough **after** I get this thing on." The pair shrugged, trying their best to avert their gaze as one of the other boys ran up to the trio.

"Hey Ranma, you'd better hurry." Ranma looked at the boy, quizzically. "Akane's up next." Before his friends had any time to react, Ranma rushed past them as fast as he could. They continued to stare at his retreating form as it went out the door.

"And he says he's not worried about her."

* * *

_Why the hell did they have the girls go first?_ Ranma ran as fast as his legs could carry him into the gym. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Akane standing at the edge of the pool. He began to walk to the edge himself, in case he had to jump in after her, but was stopped by the coach, who gave him a narrow look.

"Sorry, Mr. Saotome, not this time." Ranma stared in disbelief. What was he thinking? She could drown! Noticing his distraught look, the coach placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Ranma. We got lifeguards on duty this time." He pointed around to several uniformed individuals stationed around the pool. "She'll be fine." Not convinced, Ranma reluctantly took his place beside the other students, who each gave him funny looks due to his bathing suit. Blushing a bit, Daisuke handed Ranma a glass of water he had gotten from the sink. After realizing that his classmates were sniggering at his form, he immediately poured the water over himself, and felt his shape begin to fill out the one-piece.

Akane gulped as she stood, waiting for the coach to blow his whistle.

_C'mon, Akane, you can do this!_ She looked down at her reflection in the water and noticed the fear already evident on her face. She shuddered as the coach gave the signal. Taking a deep breath, she dived head-first into the pool below…

Everyone watched as the Tendo girl began to struggle for her life. The moment she hit the water, she started to flail about widely, gasping for air. Ranma felt another lump form in her throat. She glanced around the room at the so called 'life guards' who remained calmly in their positions.

_Why aren't they doing anything?! She's gonna drown!_ Ranma felt herself growing angrier by the second. Damn that coach of theirs! At this rate Akane was gonna….and all she could do was stand and watch. "Damnit, Akane!" The red-head screamed. "It's not that hard! Swim…for god's sake…SWIM!!!!!" Ranma closed her eyes…she couldn't bear to look. She opened them, however, when she heard her classmates gasp in shock. When she looked towards the pool, she followed suit. The pig-tailed martial artist rubbed her eyes in amazement. It couldn't be…It simply couldn't be…

Akane smiled in between breaths. Her arms were pumping, her legs were kicking. She looked in front of her and noticed that she was getting closer and closer to the other end of the pool. Yes…It was finally happening…Akane Tendo was swimming. She felt her hands touch the opposite edge of the pool. She giggled, happily, as her feet kicked off the rim and she headed in the other direction. It was too good to be true…She was having the time of her life….She didn't want to stop…She couldn't stop… She heard the coach frantically blow his whistle as she started another lap.

"Come on, Miss Tendo, it's someone else's turn!" It was then that Akane realized that she really couldn't stop. The coach blew his whistle, sending each of the lifeguards in after her. But none of them could even get close to her furiously kicking form.

Ranma couldn't take it any longer. She jumped into the pool, determined to stop her fiancée. _What the hell is wrong with her? I know she's excited, but can't she hear the coach? _ She swam up to Akane, who was in the process of starting another lap and grabbed her by the leg.

"Yo, Akane! Stop it will ya! I know you're happy and all, but…" Suddenly he stopped himself as Akane began to struggle again, flailing and gasping for air. She let go of her leg, but the youngest Tendo continued to flail about, as if she had already forgotten that she could swim. "Akane? Akane! Stand up! We're in the shallow end!" Akane stood up in embarrassment as a blush spread across her face. Ranma stretched out her hand to the confused blue-haired teenager, "C'mon. Let's let someone else have a turn." She gave a short smile, as the two exited the pool.

* * *

"I can't believe it! I actually swam!" The youngest Tendo said for about the fifth time as she and Ranma approached the gate to the Tendo dojo. Ranma remained quiet, in thought.

_How the hell did she manage to pull that off? _He shook his head. _One minute, she's barely holding on for dear life, and the next she's swimming like an Olympic gold-medalist. Then, a few minutes later, she starts to struggle again… It just doesn't make sense._

" You could at least **pretend **to be happy for me, you know." Ranma snapped back into reality.

"It's not that Akane, it's just…weird you know? You suddenly being able to swim like that."

"Oh I see, I finally learn how to swim, and all you can think about is how **_weird_** it is!" Ranma could sense a hint of anger begin to flare up into her voice as the two entered through the gate. Kasumi waved at the two as they entered. She had been outside, sweeping the porch.

" Why can't you be happy for me, at least once?" She turned around and stared at her fiancée. Ranma, began to grow a little angry himself, but tried to push it back.

"I am…sorta…It's just, you've been acting so strange today. You sure you're feelin okay?" He placed a hand on her forehead, checking her temperature. She brushed it off, furiously.

" Well, If I'm so weird, then why don't you go hang out with Ukyo…or better yet… Shampoo! I'm sure that after yesterday she'd be more than glad to accept your forgiveness!" That comment sent lightening throughout Ranma's mind.

"Yesterday…" Suddenly it was all starting to make sense.

'_Geez Akane…CALM DOWN!!!'_

_She looked positively…calm._

_No…_

'_Hurry up and get downstairs, already.'_

_A half-dressed Akane ran, full speed down the stairs._

_No……._

'_Hold on there, Akane!'_

_She was standing there as if frozen, an angry expression glued to her face._

_No!_

'_Swim…for god's sake…SWIM!!!!!'_

_Akane Tendo was swimming._

_NOOOOOO!!!!! It can't be…I've gotta make sure…_

He looked back at his fiancée, a worried gleam present in his eyes. Suddenly, she calmed down.

"Look Ranma…I'm sorry…I didn't…"

"Akane…hop up and down…" Akane looked at him, confused.

"Huh? What the-" She was cut short as she noticed that she was indeed doing as he had ordered her. She was hopping up and down… The same thought that had ran through Ranma's mind now found a new home in her own. _Oh no…_her thought was interrupted as the pig-tailed martial artist walked toward her.

"This should make sure, once and for all." He whispered something in her ear. Suddenly, Akane began to yell at the top of her lungs.

"Everybody, look at me! I'm an uncute, unsexy, flat-chested, thick-thighed, TOMBOY!!!!" She quickly brought her hand to her mouth, as she blushed, furiously. "Wh-Why did I…Ranma…YOU JERK!!!" She lashed out with her free hand to deliver a powerful smack to Ranma's face.

"Akane, don't hit me…." She gasped in horror as her hand fell limp at her side. She tried to hit him again, but just as her hand got to about an inch from making contact with his face, it fell to her side again. She let out a small gasp. Ranma placed his hand on her shoulder and let out a sigh.

"Okay, Akane…hit me." He barely had time to finish his last word as her hand rushed out, full force, to finish its earlier task. She just stood there, mouth agape, staring at her hand. Slowly, her fiancée pushed himself from off the ground…a grave expression planted on his face. "…I think we outta head for the Cat Café…" She nodded, still dumbfounded.

_This…is not good…_ She thought to herself as the two went back out the gate, leaving a very confused Kasumi in their wake.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I made a wish on my last birthday that I would own Ranma ½ and its characters. Sadly, it did not come true.

Ch. 5

Kasumi stared at the retreating duo as they made their way back through the gates of the Tendo dojo. Something about the events that took place in front of her a few moments ago just didn't add up. She didn't know what it was, but something was wrong…and from the startled look on her baby sister's face, it couldn't have been anything good. The eldest Tendo stopped her sweeping and turned her gaze to the sky.

Most people would never know it by looking at her, but Kasumi Tendo was very attentive. A long time ago she learned that you could find out a lot about a person or situation just by observing the little details that made them up…the slightest facial expression for example. Hiding oneself in a veil of obliviousness allowed for more opportunities to gain information. And she also learned that such knowledge could be a powerful tool. Yet unlike a certain other member of her family, she often used any info **she** garnered to help those in trouble…should the chance arrive. She let out a sigh.

_Perhaps I have let this go on for far too long…_ She leaned one elbow on her broom as she became lost in thought._ But they've been making such good progress lately that I guess I thought…_Suddenly her gaze turned hard.

_It seems like every time the two of them start to grow close, something big comes along and pushes them back to where they started. _She thought back to the scene that had just played out in front of her. _And apparently something similar is happening now…_She shook her head. _Well, not this time! It's time I take action. _No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, when another figure stepped through the dojo gates.

* * *

"Where the hell am I now?!" screamed a frustrated Ryoga Hibiki as he once again made a circle around the center of Nerima. After his fight with Ranma this morning, he decided that it was high time to return home for a little while…after all it had been over a month since the last time he'd seen it. Unfortunately, being the eternally lost boy that he was, luck had so far not been playing out in his favor. _Maybe I'd better check the map again…_ He was about to reach in his pack to pull it out when something slammed into him, sending him to the ground.

Mousse looked down from atop the bicycle he was riding at the pig boy resting beneath his tires.

"Oops, sorry." the Amazon quacked as he put on his glasses. "I didn't mean to…Ryoga, is that you?" The fang toothed martial artist rose to his feet.

"Mousse! Where the hell did you come from?" Mousse got off the bike.

"I was just on my way back from another delivery round." Suddenly, Ryoga glanced at the Amazon's accidental weapon.

"Say, isn't that Shampoo's bike? What are you doing with it?" The male Amazon began to rub the back of his head.

"Well, you see… after yesterday's little incident, Cologne's kind of got Shampoo… 'confined to quarters' in order to keep her as far away from Saotome as possible. So, for the time being, I'm handling all of the deliveries." Ryoga nodded, then gasped as a thought suddenly occurred to him.

"Hey, speaking of yesterday…have you been…you know…feeling alright?" Mousse looked at the fanged boy quizzically at first, then began to catch on.

"Oh, I gotcha…Nope, everything's normal with me. I know for a fact that the first person I saw this morning was….Shampoo…." his voice trailed off as he entered a dream like state. A quick nudge from Ryoga brought him back into reality. "….sorry. Anyway, like I said she was the first person I saw after I woke up, and since I haven't followed any of her orders this morning…" The young weapons master thought back to the endless '_Get lost, stupid duck's or ' Shut up, Mousse's _he had thus far received. "I assume I'm in the clear. What about you?" The eternally lost boy shook his head.

"Uh-uh. I didn't get the first wink of sleep all night…" He thought back to the troubled night he had just had and winced in horror. Akane had tossed and turned in her sleep, thrashing about wildly the whole time, surprisingly for someone who had just been knocked out. It was almost too much for his little pig body to bear. Finally, once morning hit, she had started to calm down, but before Ryoga could fall asleep himself, Ranma entered and the fight began. "So I couldn't have been the one to swallow the pill, either." He looked the Amazon directly in the glasses-covered eye. "So that just leaves two other possibilities…" Ryoga shook his head. He did not like the remaining outcomes.

"Not true…" Mousse began. The pig-boy looked at him, confusedly. "I think we can rule out one more person…I don't think that there's any way that Tendo girl is the victim." A look of surprise spread across Ryoga's face.

"What?! R-Really?! How do you know?!" Mousse rubbed his forehead as if in deep thought.

"Simple. By the time she started eating…the pill had already been swallowed."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" a sly grin found its way onto the duck's expression. "That at the moment she started eating, there was hardly enough ramen left for a few bites…and that there was not a 'green pea' or anything that resembled one left in that bowl." A sweatdrop formed behind Ryoga's head.

"Are you sure? I mean…after all…you don't exactly have the best eye sight in the world…"

"Hey," the Amazon snapped back. "I had my glasses on at the time, remember! I'm sure of what I saw…I'm absolutely sure of it!" Ryoga knew from the duck's stern frown that he was telling the truth.

"Alright, I believe you, calm down….So if I didn't swallow it….And neither you or Akane swallowed it…then that means…" A wicked smile spread across Mousse's lips.

"And then…there was one…"

* * *

Shampoo slammed the customers' bowl down on the table in fury, almost causing it to shatter into a million pieces. Without even paying the slightest amount of recognition to the cowering family of four, she hotly turned around and headed back into the kitchen.

_How can she do this to me?!_ She thought as she banged her fists down on the counter-top. _Confining me to the café! It's not fair! After all, it's not really my fault!_ She could feel her anger peak as she furiously continued her onslaught. _She should have told me everything about that pill __**before**__ I used it._ Her anger stemmed, not only from her punishment, but from the fact that her scheme had failed…miserably. Here she had went to all that trouble, setting up her plan, a plan that **should** have finally assured her victory, only to have it backfire in the worst possible way. Even if Ranma had been the one to fall under the Slave Pill's spell, with her here it was literally impossible for her to be the first person that the young martial artist awoke to. Her fit of rage was broken by the cold voice of her elder.

"Shampoo, stop that thrashing and go help customers!" the old crone ordered as she poggoed down the hallway. Reluctantly, forcefully, and furiously the blue-haired Amazon turned and re-entered the dining area. She began to approach a table where a couple sat reading menus when, suddenly, the door to the café slid open.

Shampoo felt her veins freeze the minute that Akane and Ranma stepped into the Cat Café. From the look on the pair's faces it was evident that something was majorly amiss, and the Amazon was fairly sure she knew what it was.

"…Airen… what you doing here?" Under normal circumstances, her greeting would've probably been something like, '_Aiyaa! Airen, you come see Shampoo?!' _But, unfortunately, these were not normal circumstances. If Ranma had really cared at all, he would have seen the fear present in the Amazon's voice. He merely stared off into the kitchen, completely ignoring his suitor's presence.

"Hey, old ghoul! You home?" he yelled off towards the back. At his call, a wizened Amazon hobbled into the dining area. She, emotionlessly, looked at the pair standing in the entryway.

"Son in law. How…nice…of you to drop by." She took a cold glance at her great-granddaughter. "I wish I could say this visit was unexpected." She turned around to face the hallway and motioned for the two to follow. Without a word, the fiancées obeyed and trailed her retreating form. A little hurt by her Airen's indifference, Shampoo followed suit. They stopped by Cologne's room.

"Go on in Son in law…make yourselves at home." Ranma merely nodded as he and Akane went inside. Shampoo was about to go in, too, but the Amazonian elder blocked her entry. "Shampoo, we have hungry customers." She stared her grand-daughter straight in the eyes. "You should not keep them waiting." Shampoo shook her head.

"But, Great-Grandmother, I—" Cologne raised a hand to silence her. Coldly, she replied in Mandarin.

'_I said __**go, **__Xian Pu!' _The elder turned and hopped into the dark room, slamming the door behind her. Defeated, the younger Amazon did as she was told and started to turn around. It just wasn't fair. She needed to know who the victim was…After all, her plan just might not have been the failure she had feared. If only humans weren't cursed with such paltry hearing abilities, she could listen in unnoticed. She stopped dead in her tracks, as an idea suddenly popped into her head.

* * *

Ranma glanced around the room that he assumed belonged to the Amazonian elder. He had never seen the inside of it before. A small futon lay in the corner, the only thing in the room that seemed moderately normal. The walls, floor, shelves, and even ceiling were adorned with strange artifacts, each with probably an even stranger origin. There was no electric light in the room, as it was lit by an array of candles placed in the center. He continued to take in his surroundings as he heard the door shut behind him. He watched silently as the old crone hopped around to face the duo.

"Well then, let's not waste any time…I take it by now you know which one of you is the victim of the pill." Ranma was about to answer, but she brought up a hand to silence him. "Please, just for my sake, I'd like to see for myself." Ranma took a glance back at his fiancée. With a begrudging look on her face, she nodded in compliance. Ranma felt his heart sink. He really didn't feel right doing this.

"Akane…run around in circles." Suddenly, the youngest Tendo found herself complying, as she began to run laps around the room. The eldest Amazon scratched her head.

"So, it seems that it was young Akane who swallowed the pill…" The Amazonian elder furrowed her brow. Akane, in the meantime, continued her sprint around the room. She started a second lap, then a third, a fouth, all the while Cologne continued to silently stare at Ranma. She let out a long sigh.

"Then this is indeed unfortunate." Ranma averted his gaze to the floor. "But, for the record son-in-law…why on earth did you have her do something so…ridiculous?"

"Yeah!" Akane screamed as she rounded another lap. "What the hell were you thinking?" Ranma turned red.

"Hey, it's the best I could think of on the spot! What did you want me to say, take off your clothes?" Suddenly Ranma's jaw dropped to the floor as his fiancée's shirt came off just as she began a sixth lap. Her face turned scarlet in embarrassment. She let out a piercing scream.

"Y-you… PERVERT!!! Stop me, STOP ME!!!!" Ranma cowered fearing the beating he knew was coming.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident, I didn't mean to, I…"

"Enough of this foolishness, son-in-law! This is a very serious matter!" The crone snapped, shaking Ranma back to reality.

"Akane, stop!" The youngest Tendo stopped so suddenly that she almost fell down. Quickly, her face still red, she ran over to her discarded garments and got dressed. All the while, a mallet was at the ready. She was about to deck her fiancée, once and for all, when Cologne placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Please, I must ask you to calm down." Akane shot another furious glance at Ranma, who had his arms covering his head to block the pummeling. She looked back to the small figure at her side, who had a look of extreme seriousness on her face. Slowly, Akane lowered her weapon. The old crone smiled, slightly. Then her face took on a more pitying expression.

" I'm very sorry that you got mixed up in all of this, miss Tendo." She turned her gaze over to her 'son-in-law' who was still trying to regain his composure. "I can see that this is going to take some getting used to, however…for the both of you. So I have a suggestion to make." The couple's faces suddenly lit up.

"What is it, elder?" Akane asked, praying for the slightest hint of hope.

"If it's possible, I think that the two of you should start making daily visits here."

"What for?" Ranma raised an eyebrow. The Amazon elder let out a soft chuckle.

"Well for one thing, we might be able to work on that mouth of yours, son-in-law. I don't like this situation any more than you do, but I think…with a little training…I may be able to make it easier on the two of you." Akane felt her heart sink again. It looks like she really was stuck with this, this…curse. Her fiancée noticed her disposition, and felt his sadden in response. Cologne, sighed, and shook her head pitifully. "Well, I think you'd both better go home and get some rest; I'm sure today was quite a shock. We can start tomorrow. But in the meantime, I'll look through every scroll or book I can find in search of some way to cure you…I give you my word." Akane softly nodded in thanks as the eldest Amazon ushered the two out of the door. Still carrying sullen looks, they turned and headed for home, neither of them noticing the small cat slinking out from behind the door.

* * *

Cologne watched the pair's retreating forms, then went back into her room and shut the door behind her. She sat down on her futon and lit her pipe. After taking in a few long puffs, she let out a light chuckle. It would probably have been really strange to see that someone as composed as Cologne was laughing at such a serious time. For some reason, she was happy.

_But, then again… _She thought to herself as she took another puff of her pipe. _Why shouldn't I be happy. _Slowly,a wicked smirketched across her crinckled lips_. _

_After all…..everything's going according to plan._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any of its characters.

If you can't read the above statement, you should consult your eye doctor immediately.

Ch. 6

Shampoo felt the warm water wash over her body as her shape changed from that of a small cat into the form she recognized as her own. Even though the water had been almost searingly hot, it felt to the young Amazon bitterly cold. It stung every inch of her body and sent a chill running through her veins. The conversation she had just heard left her in quite an emotional state. Another of her plans had bit the dust, and in the worst possible way. She felt water begin to stream down her cheek; she hoped it was from the kettle and not her own tears.

For three long years, the Amazon had made every attempt to garner affection from the man she loved; three long years of painstaking planning, work, and…more often than not…failure. Yet, as if riding a bike, she quickly and confidently pulled herself together and re-entered the fray anew each and every time. This process had kept her busy, and over the years she had seen little change in her Airen's disposition towards herself, much to her dismay. Yet, as the clock ticked on, the young warrior did begin to realize one, unmistakable fact…she was running out of time. Every second that passed by, she was losing any hope she had with him, little by little. For as her fiancee's attitude towards her began to move in a negative direction, it was all the while moving in a positive one for another. And this made the young Amazon's blood boil. However, it was not anger that she was feeling now…far from it. For the first time in her life, as the water rushed over her body, Shampoo was feeling the cold, bitter sting of defeat.

Here she was, one of the top warriors of her people, renowned in both strength and cunning, and she had just made one of the gravest mistakes of her life. Over the past several months, it became obvious to anyone who knew of her Airen's and the kitchen wrecker's usual behavior towards one another, that they had slowly begun to get along much better. In fact, as far as she knew, the fight that the two were having the day of the incident was the first fight they had gotten into in at least four or five days…a major improvement! For better or worse, it started to seem like the pair might actually become…content with each other's presence, might even become friends…and from there they might even…Shampoo shuddered to think about it. And here she went and practically gift wrapped the violent girl for him. They were hardly ever apart as it was, and now they were forced to be in close proximity at all times. Akane was at Ranam's beck and call…and if he ever learned that he could, or wanted to, take advantage of that…

"NO!!!!" Shampoo accidentlly screamed, out loud. She could feel her all too familiar anger begin to build. "Airen not do that! Airen love Shampoo…not violent, stupid, macho, ugly," She couldn't control herself. Her voice got louder and louder as her fists banged the kitchen counter in a thrashing fury. "Rude, selfish, flat-chested, KITCHEN WRECKER!!!!"

"Shampoo!" The youngest Amazon froze in shock as she felt the eyes of her elder peer into her soul from the kitchen doorway. Shampoo averted her gaze, trying, and failing, to gain composure. After a few moments of silence, Cologne spoke up again. "I could hear you scream all the way from my room." Shampoo felt herself tense up even further. She knew her great-grandmother was no fool. Indeed, she had probably already discovered, or most likely knew in advance, that she spied on the meeting her matriarch had forbidden her to attend. Another deed to add to the list she had been earning lately; her grandmother would not take much more insolence. She waited for what seemed like an hour for the punishment she assumed was coming…but none ever came. "Please keep it down, we still have customers! If you must make such a racket, do it elsewhere. Otherwise, get back to work." With that, her elder turned and poggoed back the way she came. Unable to handle the stress any longer, the young warrior collapsed to the ground in exhaustion.

* * *

It was around the same time that the door to the Cat Café swong open and Ryoga and Mousse stepped through. Glancing around the room quickly, Ryoga noticed no sign of the person the pair saught. He turned and faced the male Amazon beside him.

"I thought you said he'd be here." The pig boy exclaimed. Mousse shook his head.

"I **said**, that this would be the most logical place for him to go to…I didn't know for sure."

"Damn, we may never find him." Ryoga's sense of direction combined with Mousse's world renowned near-sightedness left the duo with less than minimal tracking skills.

"Well that's not entirely true. The elder might be talking with him somewhere in the back." Ryoga nodded at the duck's proposal.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. HEY RANMA!!!" The fang toothed martial artist yelled like a foghorn. Mousse covered his ears, as did several angry customers trying to enjoy their meals.

"Hey, quiet down! I didn't say you had to scream like that, we could've just walked back there and checked for ourselves!" Ryoga blushed a little and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh…yeah….my bad." Suddenly, one of the people from a nearby table turned to the unlikely pair.

"If you're looking for Ranma, you just missed him." It was Daisuke. Like a lightning bolt, the two ran over to the table where he and Hiroshi were sitting.

"Really, he just left?" Ryoga asked, mouth agape. Hiroshi nodded.

"Yup, had to be just a few minutes ago….say, haven't I seen you somewhere before?" Ryoga and Mousse looked at each other, then back at the duo sitting at the table.

"Yeah, you two seem awefully familiar." Ryoga shook his head.

"No…I don't think so, but its-"

"Never mind about that," Mousse quaked. "Was anybody else with Ranma when he came in, anybody…unusual?" Hiroshi shook his head.

"Well no, I mean he was with Akane, like normal. I don't see anything unu-" But before he could finish his sentence, Mousse was dragging Ryoga by the arm out of the restaurant.

"Thanks a lot! C'mon, Ryoga, let's go!"

"Hey, let go of me!" Hiroshi and Daisuke just watched as the two went out the door.

"Well how do ya' like that?" Hiroshi asked as he turned back to his friend across the table.

"Some people just have no manners."

* * *

_This is it. _Ukyo thought to herself as she stepped through the gates of the Tendo Dojo. _Those two are going to tell me what's up._ As she approached the front of the house, she noticed none other than Kasumi Tendo sweeping the porch. Or, at least, she **had** been sweeping; at the moment it looked more like she was lost in thought, her chin resting on the broom handle. Ukyo waved at the oldest Tendo sister.

"Good afternoon, Kasumi. Is Ran-chan home?" Ukyo's greeting snapped Kasumi back to reality. Trying her best to smile, the eldest Tendo shook her head.

"No, I'm afraid they just left." Ukyo felt her spirits sink a little.

"Oh…well then, do you know where they were headed?"

"I believe I heard them say something about the Cat Café." Ukyo smiled and turned on her heels.

"Sweet. Thanks, Kasumi." She was just about to leave, when she felt a hand gently grab her by the shoulder.

"Please, they'll be home soon enough, I'm sure. I was just about to go inside and enjoy a nice cup of green tea…won't you join me?" Although it was a simple question, and Kasumi held her usual polite, kind look on her face…there was something in the way that she said it that made it seem…odd. It was more of command than an invitation. Ukyo didn't know why, but she felt uneasy. A feeling she never thought Kasumi Tendo would ever make her feel. She shook her head.

"Ah, no thanks. I really had better get going." Kasumi's smile lessened a bit.

"Come on, I insist." Again, there was something in that statement that made Ukyo feel like she had better comply. Slowly, she nodded.

"Well, I guess one cup couldn't hurt." Quickly returning to her usual self, Kasumi Tendo smiled brightly and ushered the young girl inside.

A.N.: (Hey this is the first time I've left one of these things...) Sorry that my last few chapters (especially this one) are so short. These past few months have been extremely busy for me (college, who knew?) so I just posted what I had done. But the next couple of months (once this one's over with, crossing fingers) should be free for me, so I hope to do a more extensive update then. Sorry to dissapoint, guys... :(


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or its characters...so deal with it!

Ch.7

"Please do have a seat, Ukyo. Make yourself at home!" The eldest Tendo motioned towards the couch, patting it as she walked by. Again, Ukyo noticed a strangeness in Kasumi's demeaner…something seemed…off. "I'm going to go get the tea ready." Kasumi smiled over her shoulder as she strolled off into the kitchen.

"O-okay," Ukyo said nervously as she sat down. Suddenly she noticed that it wasn't just Kasumi that seemed out of the ordinary. Curiously, she glanced around the room. The okonomiyaki chef had only been to the Tendo residence a handful of times, but she had dropped by often enough to know something was out of place. Everything was so…quiet. Tendo-san and the panda were not furiously continuing their eternal Shogi game, Nabiki and Nodoka were no where to be seen, and strangest of all was the absence of a bickering Ranma and Akane. "Uh…just curious Kasumi," Ukyo asked as the Tendo sister entered with the tea tray. "But where is everyone?"

Kasumi set the tray on the table and began to pour the tea into a cup for each of them. Sitting on the floor, she brought her cup to her lips and blew some of the steam away before taking a sip. Slowly, she brought her gaze up to meet that of the confused Kounji girl. She smiled brightly, as she handed Ukyo her own cup.

"Oh, they're all out." Ukyo was put off by her host's icy tone. "It's just the two of us…"

* * *

The past couple of blocks had been walked in complete silence. Neither of the two young teenagers dared even glance at one another, each keeping their respective lines of sight fixed to the ground. '_When I get my hands on that Shampoo, I'll…_' thought Ranma, as his hands fiddled around angrily in his pockets. His eyes darted toward the person accompanying him along the street, then, just as fast, returned to their original focus. '_Now she's probably never going to speak to me again…After all, this is all my fault…Shoulda been me that ate that stupid pill.'_ He glanced up at the sky, noticing the sun's ever lowering position. _'I'm always screwing up her life…It's not fair to her that she keeps getting caught up in all of the crazy things that happen to me…All I do is put her in danger.'_ He cringed as several bad memories crept way his mind. Her nearly drowning in Ryugenzawa…At Pheonix mountain, her toy-like form closing its eyes for the last time…Her lifeless body resting in his arms, limp like the doll she once was. The young martial artist shook his head. '_And now this had to happen…Maybe it'd be better off if I never…'_

"Hey Ranma," startled, the pig-tailed martial artist quickly shot his attention to his reluctant fiancé. "There's no need to think like that. You had nothing to do with this." Akane's chocolate gaze met that of her betrothed. "Blaming yourself doesn't do us any good."

'_How did she know what I was thinking,' _Ranma scratched the back of his head. '_Can she really read me that well?'_ He stared back at the ground. "I know…I just…I didn't mean for this to happen. If I hadn't a gone to that stupid café…"

"If we hadn't fought you mean," the youngest Tendo interrupted. She leaned against the fence the duo had been walking beside and sighed. "We're both at fault for what happened…" Ranma looked at his fiancée and returned her sigh. The pig-tailed youth hopped up onto his favorite position on the fence and propped his hands behind his head.

"Yeah…I guess so. Damn, if I even remember what we were fighting about."

"No," the Tendo girl shook her head, "Neither do I, but it doesn't matter anyway…There's nothing we can do about it at this point….We just have to try to live with it, at least until Cologne can come up with some kind of cure." Ranma sat down, crossing his arms and legs. He had no idea what to do. Never one to back down from a challenge, he literally was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He was a man who had killed a god, but this was an enemy that the martial artist could not fight with his fists. He felt almost as lost as…

"Ryoga! Now!" Out of now where, a lightning fast Ryoga shot towards Ranma, feet first, and knocked him off of his iron perch.

"What the-" the young Saotome started, but his sentence was cut off as a series of chains flew towards his hands and feet, effectively pinning him to the ground. Ranma looked up to see his assailant approaching, confidently, the chains emminating from beneath his sleeves.

"Stay down, Saotome!" the concealed weapons master quacked. Ranma tried to struggle his way out, but the chains cut into his skin like needles.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?" he continued, trying to break himself free. A shocked Akane just stood in utter confusion, as a blushing Ryoga slowly approached her. Outstretched in his hand was a piece of paper, shaking vigorously in his nervous grasp.

"Um…A-akane…c-could you….heh…do you think y-you could r-read this….o-out loud?" As he avoided her confused stare, his face grew scarlet.

"Uh…sure, Ryoga." She grabbed the paper out of his hands and glanced at its contents.

_Ranma, I am fed up with you and your selfish ways! I never, ever want to see you_

_again. I order you to go away and leave me…forever!_

"What is.." the youngest Tendo started to say, when she noticed a glasses-adorned Mousse standing over her shoulder. He swiftly ripped the paper out of her hands, quacking incessantly.

"Ryoga, you traitorous swine!" he said, delivering a blow that knocked the eternally lost boy to his knees. He reached into his sleeve and pulled out a letter of his own and placed it in Akane's open palms. "Ignore him Akane. Here, read my letter instead. I believe you'll find it much more alluring." Akane was about to protest when she happened to glance at the words on the page.

_Ranma, I think it is high time that you left the beautiful, wonderful, talented Shampoo _

_alone and pay more attention to me. I order you to stay with me forever, and never ever_

_come near Shampoo again!_

"Oh no you don't!" Ryoga leapt to his feet and charged at the nearsighted Amazon, making sure to steal the letter from Akane in the process. "Akane's going to read my letter!" Mousse quickly dodged the pig-boy's blow and answered with one of his own.

"No, she's going to read my letter! Shampoo will finally be all mine!" The duck reached into his bottomless pit of a sleeve and shot several shurikans in his attacker's direction. Ryoga leapt to the side, effectively avoiding the onslaught and was about to strike again when he was stricken with a blow to his back. Ranma had freed himself, and, after knocking his porcine rival to the ground, proceeded to do the same to Mousse.

"Just what the hell is going on here?" he shouted, standing over their bruised bodies. Ryoga pushed himself back to his feet, meeting the gender-bender's gaze.

"Stay out of this Ranma!" the boy swiftly shot out towards Ranma.

"Yes, Saotome, this doesn't concern you!" Mousse said, also leaping to his feet, letting loose a stream of knives and various other kitchen-wear. The pig-tailed martial artist leapt in the air, dodging both of his rivals' attacks, instead causing Ryoga to shoot head first into the water-fowl's flying weaponry.

"Oww! You idiot! You're not getting away with that!" While the two martial artists continued their epic struggle, Ranma took the chance to slink back away towards Akane.

"C'mon, let's get the hell outta here, while they're distracted…" he stared back towards the barnyard brawl. Akane tried to protest.

"Ranma, what the hell is…"

" I said go! Quickly, before they…" But as he turned to look back at his fiancée, he noticed that she was now way off in the distance, running as fast as her legs could carry her. "What the….Damn it," he slapped himself in the forehead. "This ordering thing is gonna take some getting used to…Hold on Akane, wait for me!" he yelled as he followed her retreating form.

* * *

Ukyo shifted in her seat as the two continued to sit in silence. Neither her, nor her host had said a word in the past several minutes. Ukyo just kept glancing up at the clock on the mantelpiece as Kasumi sipped at her tea, smiling like her old self when she wasn't doing so. Finally, the young chef decided she had had enough of this ridiculous time-wasting….she had to go find Ranchan. She slowly rose to her feet.

"Oh…look at the time. Thanks for the tea, Kasumi, but I had better be…"

"Sit back down." It was not a suggestion. Kasumi sat her tea down on the table and looked at the startled youth. For the first time, as far as Ukyo knew, the eldest Tendo wasn't smiling. "I think it's high time we had a little talk." Apprehensively, Ukyo returned to her seat.

"Um…sure Kasumi…what did you want to talk about?" She nervously reached for her tea cup.

"I think you already know…It's about Ranma…and my sister." Ukyo felt a lump form in her throat, she hopelessly prayed that Kasumi was somehow referring to Nabiki. "No doubt you've noticed, as well as I have, that the two's once…strained relationship has been seemingly patching itself up as of late." Ukyo shook her head, she didn't like the subject of this conversation. She had honestly expected this conversation to reach her from some member of this family at some point….but never in a million years did she think Kasumi Tendo would be the one to give it to her.

"Now look Kasumi, I really have to…"

"No Ukyo, you don't. Chasing Ranma right now would only make things worse."

"Huh?...But I wasn't gonna," the chef started to lie.

"Just please…listen to what I have to say." The two youths made eye contact. Ukyo noticed her look change from one of authority…to one of genuine worry. She had no idea that the eldest Tendo could experience such a…normal range of emotion. Her mind traced back, remembering her thoughts this morning…slowly, she nodded and folded her arms.

"Okay, Kasumi….say what you have to say." Kasumi got off of the floor and sauntered over to the window.

"Like I was saying, ever since their return from Pheonix Mountain…" she turned her glance from the window back to Ukyo. "And your stunt at their wedding…" Ukyo guiltily glanced at the floor. "Both Ranma and Akane have been improving in leaps and bounds at being civil with each other." Her gaze returned back out the window. "I've been so happy for them…However," Her expression suddenly turned uncharicaristically grave. "As of this morning, I've began to feel like there's something wrong." She walked back over to the couch and sat beside the young Kounji.

"The two started fighting again last night." Suddenly, a spark flared up in Ukyo's eyes.

"Really?" Kasumi, shot her a forcefull glance.

"Don't sound so excited." Nervously, the youth returned to her previous state of mind. "I don't know quite what caused it…but I overheard the two talking earlier, after they came home from school, and they mentioned something about the Cat Café…Akane especially had a really worried look on her face at the time. And that only leads me towards one conclusion…" Ukyo felt her teeth grit in her mouth. That damn Amazonian bimbo had already beat her to the punch…again! Kasumi sighed, snapping Ukyo out of her frustration. "I can't talk to her about this…I'd never get anywhere…" she made eye contact with her guest. "But I can talk to you." The Tendo stood up and placed a hand on Ukyo's shoulder. "It's time for this nonsense to stop!"

"W-what nonsense?" Now the young girl really didn't like where this was going. Kasumi's voice turned almost angry.

"You know what I mean. This fiancé nonsense has gone on far enough! Considering one of the fiancées is my sister, you may think I'm biased on the situation. On the contrary, I think Ranma's father was in the wrong by arranging him even one marriage….much less three! The ensuing chaos is enough to wear on even the greatest of men."

"Well I agree that we have went a little…overboard…from time to time. But if he'd just go ahead and choose one of us already, we'd…"

"But don't you see?" the elder Tendo interrupted. "He already has. Or at least he's in the process of doing so." Ukyo returned her stern look with one of confusion.

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean…that he's decided…that it might be all right if…" she sighed, this was not going to be easy to make her guest understand. "That it would be all right if he had to marry Akane." Ukyo was stunned.

"Now hold on Kasumi, how…"

"No you hold on!" the eldest Tendo yelled. Ukyo felt herself tense up. "That is what separates you two from Akane. Unlike either of you, whom Ranma-kun only views as friends, she has the potential, in his eyes, to be more." Ukyo shook her head…what she was hearing just wasn't making sense…after all, she was the cute one…wasn't she? He said so himself…Then why did her excuses seem so…shallow…

"You don't…How could you possibly know any of that?" She was beginning to lose control of herself. She faught back the ensuing tears welling up insider her.

"Because he almost married her in the first place...and it shows in his actions. Think about it, Ukyo. Ranma has proven time and again, whether he admits it to himself or not…that he really cares about my sister. He's saved her life more times than I can count…and as often as you and Shampoo attempt to separate the pair, they just end up strengthening their relationship even more after the smoke settles. Just think about how things have improved after the wedding mishap!" Ukyo felt the tears fall down her cheeks. "Now turn that around…how many times has Ranma-kun shown any sign of harboring romantic feelings for you?" Kasumi knew that statement was a tad harsh…but it had to be said. Ukyo tried to think…but it was hard to at this juncture.

"He…he did when…." She didn't have the ability to finish that sentence. As long as she had known Ranma…he had never shown her that he cared about being anything more than friends…The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Listen," Kasumi's expression softened a bit. "I have lived with Ranma for three years now…and as hard as it may seem…little goes on around here that I don't know about…For instance, did you know that after the incident in China, Ranma has been unable to sleep at night…not until he's made sure that Akane is safe in her room?" At this statement, Ukyo looked up. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. "He cares for her, Ukyo. You've been his friend since childhood. No matter what you may tell yourself otherwise, you know it as well as I do." The young chef couldn't take it anymore.

"But it's not fair!" She was sobbing uncontrollably. " W-why not me! I would've given up everything! I would be the perfect wife! Why not me." She fell to her knees and rested her head on the table between her arms. Kasumi let her sob a bit in silence, then placed a hand on her back.

"But Ukyo…don't you see?" She smiled softly as the teenager looked up at her host, her eyes red from the crying. "Ranma doesn't need a perfect wife….there'd be no challenge in that." Ukyo sniffed and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes…but another round was on the way. "Ukyo…look," the eldest Tendo helped her to her feet. "I can't make you stop pursuing Ranma. I can't force you to do anything….just like you can't force Ranma to fall in love with you. If the tables were turned…would you want him to try to force you to love him?" Ukyo sniffed again…she had never thought about it that way before.

Kasumi smiled and looked at the clock. "Well it looks like you were right Ukyo…it's getting late. Why don't you go home for a while and think about what I've said…" The chef nodded, and slowly walked towards the door. Carefully, Kasumi opened it for her and followed her out onto the porch.

The eldest Tendo watched her guest retreat off into the distance, sobbing all the way. _'She'll be all right,'_ she thought to herself. _'It hurts now…but she's a tough girl and she has a good head on her shoulders…her Amazonian counterpart, however may not be so easy to deal with…'_ She turned her gaze toward the setting sun, letting her expression sink with it.

'_Akane…Ranma…please be okay.'_

* * *

"Yahh!" Ryoga screamed as he delivered a powerful kick to Mousse's head. The male Amazon groaned as he collapsed to the ground. Ryoga stood huffing over his victim's now unconscious form. "Heh…That'll, *pant*, show ya…." He turned toward the direction the love-of-his-life once occupied. "Now Akane, i-if you would please…Huh?" The lost youth scanned the area back and forth for his beloved, but neither she nor his pig-tailed rival was anywhere to be seen. Panickingly he, he reached down and shook his former victim. "Mousse! Mousse, wake up! They're gone!" Groaning, the Amazon slowly got to his feet, helped up by his attacker.

"We…we shouldn't have gotten so wrapped up in our petty squabble." Mousse dusted himself off, briskly.

"Damn, you Ranma! What're we supposed to do now?" Ryoga clenched his fists in rage.

"Well more likely than not, they're headed back home to the Tendo dojo…" Ryoga nodded at his rival's comment.

"You suggesting we show up to meet them there?" Mousse shook his head.

"No…I'd rather not…that Tendo sister frightens me…" the Amazon shuddered slightly as he objected.

"Heh, I know what you mean…she can be a money grubbing snake sometimes."

"No not that one," the waterfowl quacked. "The oldest one…that smile of hers creeps me out…so unnatural…how can someone be so happy and oblivious all the time? It's insane!" Ryoga just stood there, confused by his companion's statement. He quickly shook himself back to reality.

"Then what do you suppose we do?" Mousse crossed his arms in thought.

"Well, we know that they both went to the Cat Café earlier to get help from Elder Cologne…I would stake my reputation as an Amazon that it's very likely that they'll be returning there sometime in the near future. Therefore, I suggest that we simply go back to the café and wait it out…bide our time and they will come to us." Ryoga nodded. Then he glanced up at the sun.

"It's so late already though…they're probably not coming back today at least…Meaning, if I was to stay, it'd have to be for the night…or even a couple if they don't return right away."

"That's true," the weapons master pushed his glasses further up his face. "And with three of us already occupying that little shop…there's not really much room for you." The duck proceeded to slap Ryoga on the back. "Well, I suppose you could just show up again tomorrow and see if they stop by." Ryoga grimaced. He knew all too well that he would never be able to find his way back to the Cat Café on his own….And he wasn't about to let the sneaky Amazon "handle" the situation himself.

"Aww, c'mon there has to be somewhere you can but me up…I don't take that much room!"

"Yes but we don't have that much room to spare…I have to sleep in a closet as it is." Ryoga shook his head pleadingly.

"Damn it Mousse, I can't let this chance pass me by! There has to be some way, there just has to be!" As if on cue, a woman a few stories above the duo in the apartment building the two were standing under accidentally dropped her watering can while watering the flowers on her windowsill. The can and its contents fell on top of the pig-boy's head, dowsing him with its frigid contents. The woman stared in awe as the young boy standing there took the form of a little black pig. Chuckling, Mousse picked "P-Chan" up by his collar.

"Ask and you shall receive, I suppose." Stuffing the porker under his arm, he headed off back in the direction the two had previously come. "Come on then Ryoga…let's get back to the café. Tonight's special is Mushu-pork." The young martial artist laughed to himself as the little piglet squealed in annoyance. The two soon disappeared over the horizon, leaving the woman in the window in a state of shock.

"My brother told me I'd regret moving here." She said to herself, scratching her head in confusion.


	8. Chapter 8 PREVIEW

Ch.8 PREVIEW

(I do not own these characters. This is for fan purposes)

"_Huff…huff_, do you think we lost them?" Akane struggled to catch her breath, leaning against a nearby railing. They had been running from their nearsighted and geographically challenged pursuers for the last half hour or so, and were finally nearing their dojo home. Ranma shrugged as he turned to look behind them.

"I don't know," he said. "I don't really see them after us….but something doesn't feel right…" Ryoga may not be the best with directions, but Ranma knew that Moose should have had no trouble maintaining their trail…so long as he still had his glasses on. The two dojo mates should not have lost them so easily.

Akane merely shook her head. She had a hard enough time believing that her fiancée wasn't tired in the least from their escape, much less that the others would've kept up the chase…but then again, she had to remind herself who she was dealing with.

"Well, at least we're almost home. It's just right around the corner," she said as she regained composure. Ranma nodded and began to set off. The two hadn't gotten very far, however, when a piercing cry rang out through the lonely street.

"SOATOME!" Ranma felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

'_Oh no, not again!_' Reacting quickly, he leapt in the air in just enough time to dodge the powerful swing of a kendo blade. He summersaulted in mid-air, landing gracefully on a nearby fence post facing his attacker. "Kuno, what the hell?!" The young martial artist shook his head.

"We've had one hell of a day…this isn't exactly the best time." Akane added, knowingly in vain. The assailant merely chuckled, readying his sword for another blow.

"Fear not, my beloved Akane Tendo! I, Tatewaki Kuno am here to…" the upperclassman began before he was cut short by a fearsome roundhouse kick from his rival. He fell to the ground with a thud. Ranma briskly dusted himself off.

"Jeez…is everyone out for me today?" The pigtailed youth shook his head. He was used to having multiple skirmishes a day, but due to the current situation his patience was beginning to run thin. "Let's get the hell home already," he said as he turned back to his fiancée. Suddenly, out of nowhere, raindrops began falling from the sky as a passing shower rushed overhead. Ranma cringed as he changed form. '_Oh no…please don't…'_

"My beloved pig-tailed goddess, you've returned to me!" Ranma felt herself get caught in a choke hold as the revitalized Tatewaki Kuno wrapped his arms around his beloved. Annoyed, a sweat-drop formed down her forehead as she struggled to break free.

"Hey cut it out will ya?! Let go of me!" Despite her frustration, the upper-class swordsman gripped even tighter.

"Alas, I cannot, for I shall never let you out of my sight again…lest I fear for your disappearance at the hands of that sorcerous Soatome!" Ranma turned to Akane for help, but merely saw her sniggering at his dilemma.

"Err…W-what's so funny?" Akane smiled brightly at the inconvenienced martial artist.

"Ha…it's just nice when I see him go after you for a change." Ranma felt her rage boil.

"Oh yeah?! Just laugh it up, Akane…HAHA!" Ranma rolled her eyes, and returned to the task at hand. Try as she might, she couldn't break the swordsman's hold on her. She couldn't understand it…she should be able to get free easily…it was only Kuno, after all. '_Must not be back to full strength after my fight with Ryoga and Mousse…_' She realized that she had been going nonstop for practically the last hour.

"Do not worry, my love! You and I shall be together forever! I can see it now…We shall go somewhere where that vicious Soatome shall never find you…a secluded island where we can spend our days in…" The elder swordsman paused as a noise caught his attention.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!" The youngest Tendo was rolling around on the ground, laughing uncontrollably. Kuno turned momentarily to look at the other source of his affections.

"Akane Tendo, this is no laughing matter…fear not, you can come too!" Finally finding her opening, Ranma reacted quickly. She slipped out of his grasp and landed a skull shattering blow to his forehead. As thick as his head was, however, it was just enough to momentarily make Kuno lose his balance.

"W-what…b-but Pigtailed G-girl…" Ranma wasted no time. She swiftly vaulted her right leg at the teetering Kuno, punting him into the stratosphere like a football.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Akane continued her laughing fit, her rolling almost becoming convulsions.

"Akane, why are you laughing so damn hard?" The red haired, half-female looked perplexed.

"Y-you…HAHAHAHA…t-t-told…HA…m-me…t-tOOHOOHOO…y-you…*Snigger*..j-jerkkkkkahahAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Akane could barely breathe. Ranma face palmed.

"Oh…right…stop laughing, Akane." Immediately Akane stopped her convulsions, gasping for air. She slowly got up with a groan.

"O-oooh…you have no idea how m-much that hurt…" Ranma shook her head.

"Sorry…still got to get used to this thinking before I speak idea…." she said as she helped Akane to her feet. The young Tendo sighed.

"Please….can we just go home…."

**A/N:This is just a preview for the full chapter. I have most of the second and third acts already written out…but since it's been so long since I've updated, I felt that it might be a good idea to give you guys a small taste while I finish the rest…just so you know that it's still ongoing. Look for the full chapter here in the next few days. :P**


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